Latest Jackie Chan Film Too Bloody for China [My Fake Script]

from nytimes.com...

Jackie Chan is starring in a new movie so violent that its director has decided not to release it in mainland China, which doesn’t have a film ratings system. The film’s director, Derek Yee, who is based in Hong Kong, told The Associated Press on Monday that he had first considered toning down the violence in “Shinjuku Incident” so it could pass censorship in China. But then he decided not to, he said, because he thought it would hurt the integrity of the movie.

Shinjuku Incident
by Josh Sherman

We open on a shots of various buildings in downtown Beijing. Chinese music is playing. We see street sellers, bankers on the phone, kids fooling around. Then a still shot of a building with black reflective glass windows. An explosion.

Out of the fire, a van speeds toward the camera and turns sharply as soon as it gets close. The van has just thrown JIMMY LEE [Jackie Chan] off the back. The camera is now behind Jimmy, who is still rolling from the fall in the street. He sees the van driving away. The van says "Beijing First National Blood Bank."

Jimmy runs over to a scared little girl on a bicycle and throws her off, onto a sharp spike on a telephone pole. He bikes in pursuit of the van and bikes through a street peddler, chopping his body in half from the man's crotch to his head. The blood sprays onto Jimmy's face in a way that is split, like the body.

Jimmy loses the van for a moment while on a bridge. He sees the van is on a highway below him. He sees a white 4-seater convertible coming in the distance, waits to time the jump, and steps off the bridge. He is caught by the convertible, but in the process, he's stomped on the couple sitting in the back. This has made their bodies explode into just spray blood, that paints the back of the convertible red. The driver and front seat passenger fights with Jimmy, and Jimmy throws the woman passenger onto a truck next to the convertible. The truck is actually a cage with a lion inside (we can see the lion through the bars). She is ripped to shreds.

We see her being mauled while Jimmy continues to fight the driver.

JIMMY
I'm a cop!

DRIVER
Get out of my car!

Jimmy and the driver and now swerving out of control. The zoo-truck, which was also holding vultures, spills over. The lion jumps out and we see it safely land. A double-decker bus behind the convertible flips over and 30 people are launched off the top. While in mid-air, the vultures carry some of the passengers but also start picking their flesh, and blood begins to pour down like rain. We see a shot of rain pouring down on the lion, who looks like a king about to feast.

Jimmy opens the driver's door, while in control of the steering wheel from the passenger seat. He smashes the driver's head onto the pavement. The camera is following the convertible, so all we sees is red blood spurting up. The driver's head has been dragged off, and Jimmy tosses the body out. He looks in the rear view mirror and sees the road is painted with a red line. It is blood.

Jimmy drives the convertible with incredible speed to the dock. He arrives and sees the van, the rear doors are open. He jumps out of his convertible and looks inside the van. It is empty. He turns around and sees a barge in the water holding a clear tank of what must be blood.

JIMMY
Noooooooooo!!

The screen fades to black. The titles appear. “Shinjuku Incident.”