Sunday, November 29, 2009

Saturday, November 28, 2009

The Original Muppet Babies

I forgot how insanely adorable this is.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

A Conversation With Two Starbucks Employees

Today I had to pick up a pound of coffee beans at Starbucks.

Josh: Hi.
Starbucks Man: [inaudible]

He's doing something, so I wait.

SBM: [inaudible]
J: I can't hear you.
SBM: She'll help you.
Starbucks Woman: Can I help you?
J: Yes, I need a pound of coffee, grinded.
SBW: You should try our Christmas blend.
J: Thanks, but I don't want to try a pound of Christmas coffee. Can I just get the basic kind?
SBW: Oh, you want the pike* blend?
J: Is that the least expensive one?
SBW: I don't know.

I wait for her to, y'know, figure it out. She doesn't.

J: Well, I don't know either. Can you check for me?

She takes me to the wall of beans.

SBW: I can't tell.
J: Well, what do you want me to do? Is it more expensive than the French Roast blend?
SBW: Oh, wait yeah.
J: Okay, then I'll take the French Roast blend.
SBW: But that's more expensive. See?

My god.

J: Just give me the least expensive one.
SBW: The pike blend.
J: Sure.

She rings me up.

J: I need to get those grinded.
SBW: Oh, he'll do that for you.

Get ready folks.

SBM: What kind of filter do you use?
J: Umm, not the paper kind. You know, the plastic, sorta mesh one, it's hard?
SBM: The metal kind?
J: I don't know, is that metal?
SBM: There are a lot of different kinds of filters.
J: Okay, so just give me the metal filter kind.

He gives me a look that says "Are you fucking retarded?" Really one of the stinkiest looks I've ever gotten.

SBM: Fine.

I'm amusingly stunned, but not angry.

J: I don't know why you are treating me like this.
SBM: What?
J: You are making me feel like an idiot, and I just don't know why.
SBM: You're kidding right?

I must emphasize, I'm just shocked right here, and not at all aggressive.

J: No, I'm not kidding. You are making me feel like an idiot and I don't know why.
SBM: Well, I don't want you coming back here all upset because your beans are ground for the wrong kind of filter and want to return them.
J: Just give me the beans, no one is going to return any beans.

He shoves the bag of beans in my hand and I leave.

* * * * * * * * * *

Friends, all I wanted was the cheapest bag of beans, grinded. I do not think this makes me a difficult customer, or an asshole, OR an idiot. This wasn't about me not wanting to call a medium a grandé or some other bourgeoise bullshit.

For those of you who work on the other side of the cash register, please let me know what I did wrong.

*Pike beans - I have no idea what they were called, this is what it sounded like, nor do I care, because I hate Starbucks.

Neil Young - Fresh Prince of Bel Air

well done, Fallon.

The Muppets: Bohemian Rhapsody

good way of saying happy thanksgiving!

Monday, November 23, 2009

The American President - The Speech

still relevant!

Palin Explains Her Qualifications: She Doesn't Have An Ivy League Education

Highlights include Bill O'Reilly saying "Let me be very bold and fresh again" which sounds so strange.

Everytime Palin is asked why she's qualified, I understand she's saing words that sound like a point, but doesn't the overall answer to completely refute her? Show and Tell people!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Bad Lieutenant Countdown! LOOKOUT WITCHES! Never Enough Cage

Scenes from the trailer for his new movie "Season of the Witch," witch looks pretty awesome AND stars Ron Perlman too.

Bad Lieutenant Countdown! C-AGELESS

This is a composite I made of a lot of different Nicolas Cages - it includes...

Raising Arizona
Valley Girl
Con Air


Thursday, November 19, 2009

Bad Lieutenant Countdown! EBERT!

"No one is better at this kind of performance than Nicolas Cage. He's a fearless actor. He doesn't care if you think he goes over the top. If a film calls for it, he will crawl to the top hand over hand with bleeding fingernails. Regard him in films so various as "Wild at Heart" and "Leaving Las Vegas." He and Herzog were born to work together. They are both made restless by caution."


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Bad Lieutenant Countdown! WHAT'S THAT?? NIC CAGE NEEDS ME????

Beck's Sex Laws

Midnite Vultures "Sexx Laws" from Beck Hansen on Vimeo.

never saw this music video before, it's pretty awesome though

Marines Vs. Dragons!

who says the private sector does EVERYTHING better? (I know I know, this ad was probably made by the private sector)

In the Spirit of COLBY! The Altered State of Drugachusetts

someone please mashup!!!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Monday, November 16, 2009

THE WIRE - 100 Greatest Quotes

you can pretty much just watch this instead of the show.

Bad Lieutenant Countdown! Thank You, Manohla Dargis

In recent years Mr. Cage’s lack of discrimination (or taste) has threatened to overshadow the sweep of his career, which is understandable if you’ve seen him in the laughable remake of “The Wicker Man” (2006), about a cop battling honey-growing female pagans, including while wearing a bear costume. Yet after “Bad Lieutenant” I have begun to wonder if the narrative that many of us have grafted onto his career — the early if erratic promise, the mature successes, the dire midlife choices — does him an injustice. The truth is that he gets the job done in entertainments like “National Treasure” and “Knowing”(2009), which assumedly give him the financial freedom to cut loose with a director like Mr. Herzog. And the highlights from “The Wicker Man” (available on YouTube) do have their demented pleasures.

Mr. Clooney, again by point of unfair comparison, has rarely if ever delivered a performance as profoundly out of sync with the presumptive goals of a movie as Mr. Cage’s turn in “The Wicker Man.” But neither does Mr. Clooney send shivers up your spine, either in delight or dismay. Mr. Cage is the more unpredictable actor and consequently the more dangerous one. He has made a habit of failure and frequently pimped out his talent. And yet, as “Bad Lieutenant” shows, he remains the same Nicolas Cage of his early, later and most critically lauded career: the man of a thousand facial tics, a student of all accents and a master of none, a star who, for better, worse and sometimes both, gives us reason after reason to go the movies.


Bad Lieutenant Countdown!

An old quote of Cage....

"The worst thing is to be boring or mediocre. . . . At least you can talk about it if it's bad"

from a nice article on Cage at Village Voice

Friday, November 13, 2009

Comic Strip - Serge Gainsbourg

I love how French people's comment really seem like they've been written by 8th grade French students.... "Quelle belle chanson! Brigitte Bardot est divine!"

Thursday, November 12, 2009

So Much Parody, You Sorta Can't Make This Up

In the NYTIMES article that asks "How much leverage does the United States really have over the Afghan leader?"

The answer...

“You know that scene in the movie ‘Blazing Saddles,’ when Cleavon Little holds the gun to his own head and threatens to shoot himself?” asked Ronald E. Neumann, a former ambassador to Afghanistan.

So much parody...

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Gooble Gobble

I'm obsessed with this clip from Freaks, a 1932 movie about circus freaks.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

If This Doesn't Make You Want to Kill Yourself, You Should Kill Yourself

front page of CNN

Baby Ewephants

Rep. John Shadegg (R-AZ) reveals where conservatives get their talking points from.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

A McGuffin

thanks to Al!

Dirty Projectors Perform Acoustic "No Intention" on SIRIUS XMU

must be tough to have to hang out with three harmonizing cuties all day

The Slap Heard Round The Valley

That's me!

Josh Sherman: Body Double For Hire

CHEA(p): A Glee Spoof from Electric Spoofaloo on

My first job in LA was body doubling in a Glee spoof. Whenever you see a body with no face, it's probably me!