Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Cell Phone In Microwave

"oh no.... not again!!!"

Friday, May 23, 2008

The Whip Master > Indiana Jones


"My father owns that mine and yoooou know it"

Nat'l Treasure > Indiana Jones


Worst. Movie. Ever.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

MY EMAIL STATS!!!!

From Justin, the stat-master....

Here are some impressive stats for the last string of emails, starting out with Josh Sherman's at 1.23 pm.

Total emails: 13
Josh Sherman emails: 7
* That gives Jssh credit for 54% of those emails
Average response time to last email: 7.5 min
Josh Sherman's Average response time: 3 min
*And 4 out of his 6 response were under 2 minutes.

Memorial Day Plans

Monday, May 19, 2008

NBA Street Homecourt - Dunks Video (PS3)

there will always be (digital) dunks

Ahhhh Spaaaam...


It's easy to ignore the content of spam these days. I remember spam as mostly being women who were seeking my company or drugs that would increase the size of my penis. But I don't know who this is spam message is marketed to... it's like they aren't even trying anymore.

Transcript:

Everyone loves huge jugs Don't settle for being average when you can be massi--

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Waiters Who are Nauseated by food

one of my favorite sketches ever

Can Obama find a better photo editor?


Is this someone's idea of what "presidential" looks like? He looks like he just ate bad fish.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Time to start "The Happening" countdown


from an early review of "The Happening"....

"'The Happening' is a terrible, terrible movie. I mean, it's bad on an epic scale. It's so bad that I can't possibly tell you how bad it is without understating the point or making it sound like I'm picking on the film. But let me stress: this is not pent-up Shyamalan aggression or a desire to see him fail. This is bad in a jaw-dropping "they can't really be serious, can they?" kind of way. The closest comparison I can draw is to Neil LaBute's "Wicker Man" and, like that film, the only consolation I can offer potential theater-goers is that you might want to see it just to be in on the ground floor when the film gets its ass handed back to it."

Fans of TCRM know comparisons to "Wicker Man" only get TCRM excited!!!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Stargate: Atlantis is amazing


TEYLA: It did not have to be like this. You could have lived with us.

MICHAEL: As a human? My consciousness erased by your retrovirus? No. I will live the rest of my life as I choose. But I can’t do it alone. So, having taken my cue from the experiment your people performed on me, I figured out how to reverse the process -- to create a being even more formidable than a Wraith. It began with the feeding.

I allowed the bug to gorge itself, to absorb as much human D.N.A. as possible. This, of course, led to the death of the subject.

The timing of the feeding was critical -- ensuring that the bug laid its next egg quickly, before the genetic material could filter out of its body.

The embryo then contained enough human D.N.A. for me to manipulate.

I accelerated the development, augmenting the complexity of its physiology. There were several adjustments, several mistakes...

...until I finally found the perfect balance between strength, agility and resilience....

A perfect animal to do my bidding.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

John Paxson THE REMIX

my favorite is when he shoots a 3 and the rapper says "thug shit." paxson totally took the thuggest 3s!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

What Doesn't Happen in Vegas!

First, breathe this all in. Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher star in a, uhh, romantic, ahem, uhhh comedy... wow give me a sec... where anything goes!

I should mention that I haven't seen the movie. But I feel no restraint from judging it. After all, it is a..... romantic.....comedy..... starring Cameron Diaz and... goddamn it!!!.... Ashton Kutcher.

Well, what can we assume?

1. There is probably a financial backer in this movie linked to Vegas. And you'll probably be able to figure out when we discover the two have checked into the same hotel and we see a lot of beautiful photography of said hotel. I'm just making a guess - not a prediction - I think it will be set at The Palms.
2. There will be a lot of gross jokes. Ashton may get hit in the balls. In the commercial he pees on the dishes and says "your turn for the dishes!" We will all relate.
3. Dennis Miller will not make you laugh. Now I don't want to go off on a rant here, but have you ever noticed some big words blah blah blah.



I found a leaked outtake from the wedding ceremony in the wedding, where Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz, blech, are actually really drunk so it felt real. I'm sure there is someone out there that is really excited by this. Someone probably thinks its the funniest YouTube clip of the week.

Have you ever gotten completely wasted with your friends and been like "OH MAN, IF WE ONLY HAD SOMEONE RECORD US LAST NIGHT IT WOULD BE THE FUNNIEST SHIT." Well, it wouldn't be. I won't bore you with the video clip, but I thought it might look funny to post images from the clip without any context.


...and it does!



Lastly, there is a joke in the commercial I wanted to talk about.

"Your name is Dick Banger? You've just provided us jokes for the whole weekend."

Ashton misses the irony. "Dick Banger" will apparently entertain a fictional Ashton Kutcher longer than (probably) any joke from the movie will entertain an real audience. Obviously, movies are about fantasy, but since when has "simple entertainment" been in the realm of fantasy.



And, why not, since I probably will never write about Ashton Kutcher ever again, my top 5 favorite Ashton Kutcher movies.
  1. The Butterfly Effect - if this movie had the rights to "Coldplay - Clocks" it would've been a box office smash.
  2. The Guardian - haven't seen it, but if it's anywhere as dumb as Butterfly Effect, how could it not be amazing? Don't forget, Kevin Costner stars as his mentor (I think. I really have no clue. That is my assumption based on the DVD cover.)
  3. My Boss's Daughter - haven't seen it either. But it has Terence Stamp, and in The Limey... hisnamewasWilson. He was also General Zod It also has TCRM-favorite Tara Reid
  4. Good Will Hunting - he and Matt Damon did a great job with this script. I can't believe they won an Oscar! Robin Williams is also soooo amazing! He should do more dramas.
  5. Guess Who - a remake of the classic movie "Clue." I wonder where Miss Mustard left her candycanes!

I can't figure out why Hillary doesn't have any money left...

This is why she loaned herself another 6 million? Hopefully she can re-sell the balloons to this guy.

Someone needs to teach Hillary about "good investment."