While doing something productive.
FACEBOOKMissed me, didn't you?
MENo, I just wanted to tell you something pithy and leave.
FACEBOOKWhile you're here, I got some juicy dirt on a friend of yours from high school.
MEHer? Well, we weren't really friends.
FACEBOOK
Well, it's not really dirt. It's just some bad pictures of her.
MECan you please stop telling me stuff about this person? I really don't care.
FACEBOOKYou got it.
Ten Minutes Later.
FACEBOOKMissed me, didn't you?
MEI actually just stopped by out of habit. Wait a sec - is that another picture of that girl from ten minutes ago? I thought I told you-
FACEBOOKThis is a picture of a different friend of yours from high school. I've got the lowdown on him, if you want it. But it'll cost you... kidding!
MEWell, she's there.
FACEBOOKDo you want to tag her?
MEWhat? No. I don't want to see him, or her, or any of these people.
FACEBOOKThey're in a relationship!
MESeriously, I don't care.
FACEBOOKI thought you said you were friends?
MEYeah, but...
FACEBOOK
Why don't you let me get rid of them for you... forever.
ME
Forever? That's so final.
FACEBOOK
C'mon.. Do it. DO IT!
ME
Bye.
FACEBOOK
You'll be back!
Before bed.
FACEBOOK
Missed me, didn't you?
ME
Ugh.
FACEBOOK
Ooo, iPhone app. Fancy. Who pays your monthly bill?
ME
Shut up!
FACEBOOK
Wanna know what that girl Rebecca is up to?
ME
Who?
FACEBOOK
You don't recognize her? You ARE facebook offish.
ME
Night!