Nice, Scott Pilgrim

Indie Rock: Please Die Already

The band Look at the Fields perform an acoustic cover of "Miracles" by Insane Clown Posse. Don't get me wrong, I love "Miracles." But if you can seriously get behind whatever this is, wow, you hate music.

Pretty Girls Make Graves

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
ThreatDown - Military Food Police, Jazz Robots & Pretty Girls
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Fox News

I can't tell you how much I love the end of this threatdown, when Stephen talks to girls.

LOST Babies (Pt. 2)

from fuckyeahlost.com

Camera Obscura - Forests and Sands

I haven't watched this yet, but I'm posting in good faith. I'm still a huge fan of this album (it was my #1 of 2009) and this song had coincidentally been on repeat this past week. Why? It's just been a great companion to the leadup to LOST's winddown: sweet, melancholic, and so skeptical.

Oh, it feels like none of this is real (Sideways World??)
I pretend (Fake Locke??)

That my heart and my head are well (We Have to Go Back!!)
But if the blood pumping through my veins could freeze (Like A Frozen Donkey Wheel??)
Like a river in Toronto, then I'd be pleased (River of Light Whaaa?)
You said I made you feel warm (Low Magnetic Zaps??)
Said I made you feel warm inside (Like A Lava Cork!!?!)

Rondo.

Regardless of whoever wins the Finals, LeBron should be forced to give up MVP this season.

Greatest Missed Dunk Ever?

Goes to Shannon Brown.

DIO

I'm not gonna pretend i know much about DIO, but I completely connected with him on this music video. we'll miss you, rjd.

Google Top Results: "How Do You Know If..."

Dear Google, It's Me, Paranoid.

I love this game.

Update: Let's take this a little further....

For the record, I wanted to search "how do you know if someone is dead" which just sounds like a thrilling google search.

Late Update: I just got depressed realizing "how do you know if your pregnant" is grammatically incorrect (or is it technically syntax?). Education!

A Message From Jack Camaro to All The Sad LOST Fans

Jack sends a message 74 years into the past. And he sucks at piano!

That Sarah McLachlan Music

THAT'S RIGHT PEOPLE... I MADE THIS, OKAY? I MADE ONE OF THOSE YOUTUBE VIDEOS WHERE YOU'RE LIKE "WHO THE FUCK MADE THIS." WELL THIS TIME, IT'S ME.

O-Badabing-Bama

New Jersey, my home state, gets knocked around quite a bit, but we really do have some talented writer/directors: Kevin Smith (blech), Zach Braff (barrrf), and now, Former NJ Judge Kenneth Del Vecchio. From Talking Points Memo:

"Del Vecchio, a prolific filmmaker and author, produced, wrote and stars in "O.B.A.M. Nude," a movie about a coke-addled college student who sells his soul to the devil in order to impose his socialist will on the country." Here is the trailer.

And Kevin Smith, here's your next movie.

FIGHT! FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE LAPIDUS!

Thank you, Dan. I hope the next episode begins with the door and Lapidus ready for Round 2 on the shore, then in Round 3 Lapidus lands a serious uppercut - TOASTY! - and gives the door a Fatality. "Hey Doc. You thought I'd get beat by a door?"

Lapidus Lives

Legends never die. No really, they aren't dead. My buddy Deek told me that Tupac is really alive.

[Late Update: Credit to Jim on this one.]

Hyperrealationships

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes sang and danced at a benefit this weekend, and in a strange way staged their own possibly staged relationship.

Katie Holmes, in this performance, plays Lola, a beautiful woman working on behalf the devil, who wants the Tom Cruise's Thetans. Oh, she thinks she'll get 'em all right! But in "Damn Yankees," Tom Cruise's character doesn't succomb to Lola's seduction, as his devotion to his wife proves too strong (his "wife" in this case could be any number of things, all of which are probably disturbing).

But more importantly, Tom and Katie, a couple on the "global stage," got on stage to be a couple. Hence, hyperrealationships.

This Is How I Spent The Day After LOST's "The Candidate"

Well, just the shower scene. I didn't stalk any transexuals (although, Einhorn has a dick, or rather the biggest hemorroids Ace has EVER seen)

Kill Smokey

"Casual Sex?" Trailer

How You Know When You're Watching Gold: "Casual Sex?"

I am really pleased with myself for sticking with "Casual Sex?" last night, and I thought I'd help you figure out if a movie is worth watching starting at 12:45am.

1) When not only can you NOT rent it on Netflix, but it's also ONLY available packaged with another movie. Check.

(For the squinters, it's "Cold Comfort Farm" starring Kate Beckinsale, a 1995 TV movie, that's described on IMDB as "In England in the early 1930's, 20 year old Flora Poste, recently orphaned and left with only 100 pounds a year, goes to stay with distant relatives on Cold Comfort Farm." What this has to do with "Casual Sex?" I have no idea. But the fact that Casual Sex? is superimposed in front of it makes me think someone knows that it takes a backseat to "Casual Sex?")

2) When it ends with the main character breaking the fourth wall, smiling, hugging her friend, they look at each other, freeze frame, and end credits soundtracked by an original song that is closely connected to the movie title. Check.

3) When you have a monologue like this:

NICK

Okay that's okay. Well let me tell you,

you're making a big mistake. Because

I am gonna make it.

I'm gonna be huge. I'm gonna be

bigger than huge. I'm gonna be

on the cover of Rolling Stone

maga-NO!! Forget that. I'm gonna

be on the cover of TIME magaz-NO!

Forget that. I... I am gonna have

more fans that Elvis! Yeah! And

I won't even be dead. Think about it.

Check.

"Oh No! I Stumbled 20 Minutes Into A 1988 Movie "Casual Sex?" starring Lea Thomson"

In the spirit of homage to one of my favorite pieces from That Crazy Rap Music!, I give you my twitter-liveblog of 20 minutes into "Casual Sex?" starring Lea Thompson and Victoria Jackson (1988).

May 5th, 2010. 12:45 am

• Oh no! I stumbled 20 minutes into a 1988 movie "Casual Sex?" starring Lea Thomson and it's B-Fest Amazing about 2 hours ago via Twitterrific
• @HBO This movie makes me think #Alternate1985 was Lea Thomson's true destiny #casualsex about 2 hours ago via Twitterrific
• @HBO thank you for this miracle. IT has a Pre-Tea Party Victoria Jackson. #casualsex
• @HBO wait this just got supergay. HB-Noooooooo!
• @HBO okay we're back. "Styles" from Teen Wolf showed up.

• @HBO thank you, also, for helping me realize why @EvanStone is the fucking man (no pun intended). He IS the Eighties! #casualsex
• @HBO I can't figure out if any of these sex scenes are consensual #casualsex
• @HBO ugh I just googled "consensual sex" to make sure the spelling was right, and now google knows I searched "consensual sex" #casualsex
• @HBO once again, you've taken away all my worries with this epic guy-sings-to-girl scene #casualsex
• @HBO guy kissed Lea Thompson and I get worried this movies already over. There's FORTY FIVE MORE MINUTES.#casualsex
• @HBO wow I'm not wrong here... I seriously can't figure out why this movie is still going. #casualsex
• @HBO figured it out. Now they are going to have #casualsex !
• @HBO @FakeEvanStone just boned @RealLeaThompson
  
  

• @HBO No!!! This movie just became KIDS. I hate KIDS! Even with strawberries! #casualsex
• @HBO preteaparty Victoria Jackson got a disease from her third sexual partner. In the movie! In real life she got syphilis from Glenn Beck.
• @HBO you're not being clear enough if these women like these men or they are being raped. I didn't think you could blur the distinction!
• @HBO well we now know why "Styles" never left the 80s: he had sex with pre-S-Tea-D Party Victoria Jackson. #casualsex
• @HBO "You know who would be a GREAT pairing? LEA thompson and vicTORIA jackson." #casualsex
• @HBO that quote is attributed to Time Capsule Genius.#casualsex
• @HBO An hour and twelve minutes in, and the introduction of voice-over narration. This movie literally has everything now.#casualsex
• @HBO Lea Thompson slaps her casual sex partner when she breaks up with him. I mean ?!? 45 minutes ago via Twitterrific
• @HBO I just videotaped the greatest breakup monologue ever, which I'll post later on http://thatcrazyrapmusic.com#casualsex 36 minutes ago via Twitterrific

• @HBO I took a long pause to re-record that monologue, because it's just so damn good. #casualsex 21 minutes ago via Twitterrific

Wait for it....

• @HBO it really got to the point where I had to just show you... Check http://thatcrazyrapmusic.com #casualsex 7 minutes ago via Twitterrific
• @HBO IMDBers, you'll notice I didn't realize Andrew Dice Clay was a lead. I admit it! I don't know who ADC is despite hours of watching VH1. 4 minutes ago via Twitterrific

Lyrics:

No more casual sex man/

Nooooooooo casual sex.

Late Update: If you made it 'til the end of that fantastic song, you'll notice this movie was produced, that's right, BY THE GROUNDLINGS. Well, they made me laugh!

• @HBO thanks for the gift! Good night! #casualsex 3 minutes ago via Twitterrific
• Hey, Real Sex is on. 1 minute ago via Twitterrific

I Guess This Means We Won The War

Fuck you, Taliban! Try fighting a GAGA ARMY!

Larry David in "Fridays"

Hello, Mr. Doody!

It's actually insane how similar this sketch is to Curb.

Jesse Pinkman's Next T-Shirt

Please lord.