Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Monologue from Seinfeld's "Chinese Restaurant"

"She had this little place with this little's like right there. It's not even down a little hall, or in an alcove, you understand? There's no...buffer zone. So we start to fool around. This is our first time and it's early in the going and I begin to perceive this impending intestinal requirement, whose needs are going to surpass by great lengths anything in the sexual realm. So I knew I had to stop. But as it's happening I'm thinking even if I can somehow manage to extricate myself from the proceedings momentarily and relieve this unstoppable force, I know that bathroom is not going to provide me with the privacy I know I'm going to need to resolve what is sure to be not a single episode but more of a mini-series, as it were. So there I am, faced with the question: To go or not to go?"

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