Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Stars Wars: The Sequel to the Sequel of the Prequel


Here we go again.

With Star Wars VII announced today as part of a takeover by Disney, I believe we're all having a fraction of the excitement we had when George Lucas announced Episode I.  Yet even just a fraction of that feeling is more than most press releases get.  And yet, what's that old saying from Tennesee?

Fool me, uhh.

So let's all get our heads straight this time.  The STAR WARS trilogy (IV, V, VI) is perfect.  And you will never get that again.  And if any movie that comes out is not adequate enough for your judgment, it is not George Lucas's fault, it is not Disney's fault, it is your fault.

Star Wars is for children.  You loved it as a child.  And your childhood is over.  And Star Wars isn't responsible for making you feel like a child again.

There have been some amazing movies since Star Wars came out and many of them have altered how you can appreciate a Star Wars movie.  For example, listen to how a gunshot sounds in a Christopher Nolan movie.  It's intense!  And you like that intensity, don't you?

So now you're addicted to an intense gunshot sound effect.  You like the terror and anxiety that one bullet left in the chamber makes you feel.  Why can't Star Wars be that awesome and intense?

Because Star Wars is for children.

So let's just go through the next 5 years.

Now-January 2014: It's gonna suck
January 2014: Oooh, that's actually an interesting cast.
April 2014: That title's stupid.
May 2014: The teaser trailer made me very excited.
November 2014: Oh my god I need to see this movie.
May 2015: C'mon I need to see this please please please
June 2015: It was eh.
June 2015 -January 2016: Next one's gonna suck
January 2016: Oooh, that's actually an interesting cast.
April 2016: That title's stupid.
May 2016: The teaser trailer made me very excited.
November 2016: Oh my god I need to see this movie.
May 2017: C'mon I need to see this please please please
June 2017: It was eh.


Let's just save the bullshit.  STAR WARS is dead.  Let the new STAR WARS begin.

Update: It keeps getting better and worse. From the official announcement video...


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