Commentsment

Stephen Colbert returned to our mutual alma malter Northwestern this summer to give the commencement speech. I learned some many valuable life lessons from the speech, especially that I am apparently the only person technically savvy enough to record it via a webstream, because my YouTube upload of it was passed along to all the gossip echo chambers.

So here I am, a part of history forever. With this great power, comes the unfortunate responsibility of being emailed everyone's comments, which, lucky for me, is a topic that fascinates me. Who are these people? Why do they enjoy provoking strangers? Are these people even human?

With over 260,000 views now, I thought I'd share with you some of the bizarre and bland comments that caught my attention.

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(in chronological order)

LaReinaMex318 has made a comment on Stephen Colbert 2011 Commencement Speech at Northwestern University:

Speakers like this are the only reason to spend the money on the Ivy Leagues ;)

Maggio6952 has made a comment on Stephen Colbert 2011 Commencement Speech at Northwestern University:

Blonde at :47. hollllleerrrrrrrrrr at me

TheFrostyJackson has made a comment on Stephen Colbert 2011 Commencement Speech at Northwestern University:

What does "suma kum laude" mean?

1TheBusyBody94 has made a comment on Stephen Colbert 2011 Commencement Speech at Northwestern University:

0:45 FARRRRKKKK

9razzler9 has made a comment on Stephen Colbert 2011 Commencement Speech at Northwestern University:

11:16. the guy is sexy

sarwatrazz has made a comment on Stephen Colbert 2011 Commencement Speech at Northwestern University:

it was good but conan was more inspiring and real for me...

JesusComrade555 has made a comment on Stephen Colbert 2011 Commencement Speech at Northwestern University:

hottie at 0:49

AnchorageDentist has made a comment on Stephen Colbert 2011 Commencement Speech at Northwestern University:

I had no idea he really gave a commencement speech.

yourtacos12 has made a comment on Stephen Colbert 2011 Commencement Speech at Northwestern University:

12 people had to describe the lab equipment in their human sexuality class to their grandmothers at brunch

marcos161994 has made a comment on Stephen Colbert 2011 Commencement Speech at Northwestern University:

12 people live in a brothel

plainhiphop has made a comment on Stephen Colbert 2011 Commencement Speech at Northwestern University:

12 people realized that he recycled speeches.

bosedog2003 has made a comment on Stephen Colbert 2011 Commencement Speech at Northwestern University:

12 people are pussies

ziggyccc1 ha aggiunto un commento su Stephen Colbert 2011 Commencement Speech at Northwestern University:

he is so usless

drumONdrugs23 has made a comment on Stephen Colbert 2011 Commencement Speech at Northwestern University:

quit bitching, faggots. no one forced you to watch this. personally i wish i could have been in that graduating class.

mdubs2010 has made a comment on Stephen Colbert 2011 Commencement Speech at Northwestern University:

What a metaphor!

lredelman has made a comment on Stephen Colbert 2011 Commencement Speech at Northwestern University:

this was my graduation speech and it was FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!

Conan was not funny. Sorry Dartmouth...

Raxer21 has made a comment on Stephen Colbert 2011 Commencement Speech at Northwestern University:

Wow god like speech lol

coolboysess has made a comment on Stephen Colbert 2011 Commencement Speech at Northwestern University:

Colbert is the man! Him and John Steward are legends.

If any of you guys are interested in random news, satire, and comedic updates check out my buddy's new twitter he's looking for some intelligent followers. His account is "EmPeaZee". He's a pretty funny dude, he's no Colbert but he's worth checking out.

QuarterMasterGaming has made a comment on Stephen Colbert 2011 Commencement Speech at Northwestern University:

I will admit I do not know a lot about Colbert as a man and father but I was pleasantly surprised when he said to think of others and love others. To serve others instead of yourself. Under the selfish guise that his show portrays of him he is a man like all else with values. That is comforting.