The Original Tron, Cut Into A Modern Trailer

Trailers are so good these days, they can make movies YOU KNOW are crappy into something enticing.

This Is Pretty Much Every Story I Want To Write In My Life

The synopsis of The Exploding Detective by John Swartzwelder, an amazing writer on the Simpsons (link - he stopped in the 14th season - not coincidentally about when it began its decline?).

To help differentiate himself from the rest of the private detectives in Central City, Frank Burly decides he needs a gimmick to attract customers. He purchases a refurbishedWorld War II jet pack that was part of a NAZI plot to conquer Heaven in the afterlife and outfits it with booster rockets that he bought from a women's fashion magazine. Calling himself "The Flying Detective" he begins recklessly streaking across the skies of Central City and crashing into buildings. In fact, the citizens of Central City see him crash, burn, and explode so often that they begin to suspect the hapless detective possesses super powers that protect him from serious injury.

At the same time, a bizarre new crime wave hits the city. An army of robots led by Napoleon commits a series of robberies in the industrial district, stealing chemicals and other raw materials. Frustrated, the mayor and the chief of police approach Frank Burly about becoming the city's patron super hero. In exchange for $1,500 a week, Burly agrees to don a cape and tights and fly through the city in the name of justice and goodness. However he soon finds he has bitten off more than he can chew when Napoleon turns out to be a robot and the real mastermind behind the crime wave unleashes his assassin robots against The Flying Detective.

Getting Married? Need a Band?

All Knowing Is Lost

From Ultra Culture, the UK's Greatest Movie Blog:

As part of my ongoing quest to catch-up on some of the movies I’ve missed over recent years, last weekend I watched Knowing. If you’ve seen it, you’ll know that it really is as unbelievable-bad-slash-incredibly-good as Joe Cornish said it was in our Review of the Year (if you don’t have a copy then tough luck, you had your chance).

At one point Knowing was re-written by Stuart Hazeldine, who has since gone on to write/direct British crapfest Exam. In our review of Exam, we noted that the majority of the characters seemed to be stolen from hit TV show Lost. I was hesitant to make this accusation because I was aware that I was probably especially prone to spot similarities, given that I’m a big Lost fan. It seemed entirely possible that I had imagined the likeness and that Hazledine was not in the habit of plagiarising from one of the most popular shows of the last decade.

But then I saw Knowing.

Check this shit out:

Lost		Knowing
Lost is set in 2004 and follows the lives of a group of people as their lives are repeatedly affected by a series of mysterious and seemingly cryptic…		Knowing is set in 2009 and follows the lives of a group of people as their lives are repeatedly affected by a series of mysterious and seemingly cryptic…
NUMBERS		NUMBERS
They come to realise the significance of the numbers after a sudden, traumatic…		They come to realise the significance of the numbers after a sudden, traumatic…
PLANE CRASH		PLANE CRASH
Shortly after the crash, they journey into the jungle and hear spooky, unidentified…		Shortly after the crash, they journey into the forrest and hear spooky, unidentified…
WHISPERS		WHISPERS
The whispers are later revealed to be the sounds of an unknown and intimidating group of people, nicknamed…		The whispers are later revealed to be the sounds of an unknown and intimidating group of people, nicknamed…
THE OTHERS		THE STRANGERS
The others appear mainly at night and are desperate to find the group and…		The strangers appear mainly at night and are desperate to find the group and…
KIDNAP THEIR CHILDREN		KIDNAP THEIR CHILDREN
… although a surprising twist later on changes our attitude towards the others. Meanwhile, there are concerns that the numbers will soon bring about…		… although a surprising twist later on changes our attitude towards the strangers. Meanwhile, there are concerns that the numbers will soon bring about…
THE END OF THE WORLD		THE END OF THE WORLD
But before that happens, there is still time for plenty of…		But before that happens, there is still time for plenty of…
PLUMES OF GREY SMOKE,		PLUMES OF GREY SMOKE,
50’s CLASSROOMS,		50’s CLASSROOMS,
PROPHETIC WINDOW VISIONS,		PROPHETIC WINDOW VISIONS,
DISTANT MYSTERY MEN,		DISTANT MYSTERY MEN,
DEMONIC CHILDRENS’ DRAWINGS,		DEMONIC CHILDRENS’ DRAWINGS,
AND BUNNY RABBITS		AND BUNNY RABBITS

Time Outlaws 2: Based on the Adult Film Clock Rogues 2, Incidentally, Also By Sapphire

Jack Camaro would be so proud.

Rush Limbaugh's Pleasure Paradise Casino & Hotel

"How many Rush's can you find?"

RushBo's website seems so familiar....

Fox News Hurt By HCR, Takes Anger Out On Graphics Department

This was the front page of Fox News today. Please note how incredible this graphic is.

I Don't Wanna Grow Up, I Wanna Hold Steady

Huge thanks to Janessa on this one.

You Must See "House"

I just saw this masterpiece last night, which had me giggling for pretty much 88 minutes straight. See it now!

It also began with a fantastic trailer for "Lust for Life"....

"How to describe Nobuhiko Obayahshi's 1977 movie House? As a psychedelic ghost tale? A stream-of-consciousness bedtime story? An episode of Scooby Doo as directed by Dario Argento? Any of the above will do for this hallucinatory head trip about a schoolgirl who travels with six classmates to her ailing aunt's creaky country home, only to come face to face with evil spirits, bloodthirsty pianos, and a demonic housecat. Too absurd to be genuinely terrifying, yet too nightmarish to be merely comic, House seems like it was beamed to Earth from another planet. Or perhaps the mind of a child: the director fashioned the script after the eccentric musings of his eleven-year-old daughter, then employed all the tricks in his analog arsenal (mattes, animation, and collage) to make them a visually astonishing, raucous reality. Never before released in the United States, and a bona fide cult classic in the making, House is one of the most exciting genre discoveries in years.

Run. Wake your neighbor. Slap your children. Eye your cat with suspicion. Every once in a blue-screen moon, a movie will remind even the most jaded of cult-film aficionados that, no, in fact, they have not seen everything.
- Jim Ridley, The Nashville Scene

MUST-SEE-NOW - Delirious, deranged, gonzo or just gone, baby, gone - no single adjective or even a pileup does justice to House. - Manohla Dargis, The New York Times

FOUR STARS - Like a stream-of-consciousness nightmare sprung from a troubled head resting on a hot-pink pillow.
- Joshua Rothkopf, Time Out New York

THE ULTIMATE MIDNIGHT MOVIE - This phantasmagoric head-trip has to be one of the strangest and most surreal movies ever made. - Matt Singer, IFC.com "

60 Second Preview of Luc Besson's New Steampunk Movie

Trailer For Every Oscar-Winning Movie Ever

Admit it, you are sorta interested in seeing this movie.

YOU'VE CHANGED!

Look, I know you're all fuming about this, but let me explain. A lot of the videos I've been posting are widescreen, and the narrow column just wasn't doing it for me.

I'm not totally in love with it yet, so bear with me.

Also, in all it's widescreen glory, a Sandra Bullock Oscar freakout:

What A Great Name For An Aerosol Product To Be Used In Your Home

thanks maintenance guys!

Neville Brothers - Bird On A Wire

love everything here.

Time Outlaws 2

"We have to go back."

Dear fellow Time Outlaws:

Jack Camaro here. If you are receiving this, for the past year you've done what you do best: escaping the law (or for you pre-Hammurabi-outlaws, escaping vengeful deities).

Last year, for those of you who did not attend, I arranged for a night of political asylum for outlaws of all time to come and party - that was March 20, 2009 (link).

(From last year)

The deal I made with every President up to Lord Tyrant O'Roomba was made on the condition that all outlaws would return to their times.

That was foolish. One of you broke the rules, and life as we know it is now in jeopardy.

You see, one of you has disrupted the timeline, creating an alternate-2085. In this year, Lord Tyrant O'Roomba's mysterious vacuum certificate appears, which causes a series of destructive events to unfold.

(It looks like this)

The certificate reveals O'Roomba was actually built with O'Reck technology. A vacuum of leadership enables Vice Tyrant Glenn O'Reck to rise to Supreme Lord.

Why? Why did we vote for a Vice Tyrant with an eyepatch!?

Make no mistake, O'Reck is even more evil than his predecessor. Conspiracy theorists believe he's Dick Cheney rebuilt with Oreck technology. The only evidence of this is that he totally sucks.

I know this is really confusing, so if you need help understanding, just rent the Porno-flick loosely based on this story, Clock Rogues 2.

(For all you wondering, yes, that is Sheriff Vortex in the middle)

Time Outlaws! Assemble and recreate the night of March 20th 2009 on Saturday March 27th, 2010 at Royal Oak to save our timeline and ensure Lord Tyrant O'Roomba's vacuum certificate is never discovered!

If you did not attend the first party, you can still attend! Outlaws gotta party!

Details:

Time Outlaws 2: Timefuck.

Royal Oak. (map)

March 27th, 2010 at 10 pm.

No outlaw attire necessary.

Is Chris Dane Owens in Tron 2?

Probably not, but I'm still really excited for it. (new trailer)

PS22 Chorus Sings Phoenix's Lisztomania

aww, this is pretty damn cute

Lost: Baywatch

amazing!

Baby Doing Tha Stanky Leg

Party In The Island

The Muppet Wicker Man

This is so good, it makes watching The Wicker Man even MORE worth it.

Awesome Prizes

one of my favorite sketches

You're OK, OK Go.

you deserve a place on my blog for this.

I Can Die Now: ME ON THE SET OF GILMORE GIRLS

The Losties