Fuck Greg Oden

Some of you may know that I was considering moving to Portland, Oregon earlier this year. The plan was to move there, become a huge Blazers fan, and hope that the overhyped Pacific Northwest division rivalry of Durant vs. Oden would actually become the next great story in the NBA.

Well, I guess that wasn't enough to actually convince me to move, but rather blame than instincts and call myself a "wuss" (cue echos "uss uss uss uss"), I'm so glad I didn't move.

Reason #1) The Seattle Supersonics are probably going to move to Oklahoma City (I honestly don't know if that's in Oklahoma or Kansas... I'm going to assume its in Oklahoma).

Reason #2) Gred Oden's rookie season ended before it even started with a leg injury. Oh yeah, one of his legs is longer than the others, and deformities like that will probably fuck you up in a sport that sorta requires healthy legs.

but most importantly, Reason #3) Dwight Howard.

(Part 1)

Why the FUCK would anyone care about Greg Oden when Dwight Howard is not even 22 yet. Have you seen this guy? Not his picture on his NBA.com stat page - I'm talking about seeing this guy's body in action... each of his shoulders is the size of an office chair. He even had an incredible move at the Slam Dunk competition.

(There will always be dunks.)

(Part 2)

But let's forget who has a better NBA center's body for a moment, let's just examine these two players mentally. You've got Dwight Howard, who has never missed an NBA game (he was the last highschool-to-NBA player), who says this...

"I want to be one of the greatest players to play basketball."

And meanwhile, the overhyped, #1 pick in this year's draft Greg Oden, who says this...

"I like dentistry," Oden said at the Final Four. "I just went to the dentist. It was nice" and then "I wanted to be a dentist back in the day."

(Part 3)

At this point I have to pay respect to The Onion...

Greg Oden On Final Four Appearance: 'I'm Happier Than I've Been In 30 Years'

(Conclusion)

I'm sorry, I don't care if this is his quirky sense of humor, which I know he has. Let assholes like me make jokes about wanting to be a dentist. I'm an asshole. You are a basketball player. Win a championship and you can pretend you are Shaq. Or just go to dentist school and become an asshole. But let me warn you this... no one wants to go to a 7 foot dentist who ages faster than Walter Donovan in Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade.

Judgment Day... but seriously folks

Before you consider watching this clip...

I want to first point out that

A) This is possibly the dumbest youtube clip ever.
B) This has some of the funniest youtube comments ever.

whoever made this though, we are a big fan of you at TCRM

my blog has been getting REALLY skanky lately...

but i couldn't resist.

Pittsburgh Slim - Girls Kiss Girls

I was wondering when we were going to see the cultural impact of LFO's "Girls of the Summer." This is by far the saddest music video I've ever seen.

Sharon Stone Giving Birth To Fully Grown Camel

Thank you(?), Dan.

We Tigers in a High School Musical

i would love to see vanessa hudgens get down to who could win a rabbit

The War Wages On

According to BENAZIR BHUTTO in today's nytimes...

"It is dangerous to stand up to additional plugins, but more dangerous not to. The moment has come for the Western democracies to show us in their actions, and not just in their rhetoric, which side they are on."

Are We In On The Joke Yet? Oh, Myspace!

First off, I'm not sure who to blame on this one. It could very well be the very same plugins I've been complaining about (see post below).

Is it possible, though, that this is some sort of viral campaign? That this ad completely encapsulates what we are all thinking about myspace and then winks at us? I mean, here I am talking about how shitty this ad is, and yet if someone asks me tomorrow "when does The Golden Compass come out?" I will not only know the answer, I'll want to keep talking about The Golden Compass's shitty ads.

Or maybe it's just a shitty ad. My money is on the plugins though.

PLUGINS!!!!!!

Word of the Day: PLUGINS

today has been pretty frustrating with regards to plugins.

i wanted to visit a link. i couldn't.

i wanted to play virtual NES. nope.

i sent a link to a friend. he couldn't watch it.

PLUGINS!!!!!!

live blogging 1 hr and 15 mins into Basic Instinct 2

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

live blogging 1 hr and 15 mins into Basic Instinct 2

okay so we finally saw sharon stone get naked. she's talked about some pretty nasty things, but now she's really committing to them.

interesting trivia - i told jim how paul verhoeven makes fun of movies like this in Showgirls, and i just discovered he actually directed the original Basic Instinct 2.

Posted by josh at 1:00 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 21 mins into Basic Instinct 2

man she shows SO much cleavage in this movie. this was probably included in her contract.

i told jim that i hope they make a Basic Instinct 3 where she continues to try to seduce men but she's too old and disgusting

Posted by josh at 1:04 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 18 mins into Basic Instinct 2

more shitty plot twists. thinking about watching the lakers-houston game.

Posted by josh at 1:03 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 23 mins into Basic Instinct 2

this movie is really really lonely. a few more extras would've been nice. also the analyst's friend is imitating pierce brosnan.

Posted by josh at 1:06 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 25 mins into Basic Instinct 2

there should really be more fucking. this IS on showtime at 1:09 am.

Posted by josh at 1:08 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 29 mins into Basic Instinct 2

okay, he finally realizes that sharon stone is bad news. this took an hour and 27 minutes of film time.

sharon stone's robe is falling off as she writes about "sexxxxx" "they have sexxxx" "sexxxxxx"

i love "upscale" apartments in faux-porn movies. i imagine that the heating bill is absurd... all that metal.

she just asked him to take a jacuzzi with him!!!

Posted by josh at 1:09 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 30 mins into Basic Instinct 2

she's not jus twearing a robe, it's pretty much off and she's holding it JUST above her cleavage - that damn contract!

Posted by josh at 1:14 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 31 mins into Basic Instinct 2

YES!!!!! she's naked in jacuzzi!!!!

"IT'S ALMOST LIKE YOU KILLED THEM YOURSELF. WHO DO YOU THINK I'M GOING TO KILL NEXT. COME ON. YOU FIGURE IT OUT!"

crazy music!

OMG HE"S DROWNING HER IN THE JACZZI!!!

Posted by josh at 1:15 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 32 mins into Basic Instinct 2

she just smiled at him WHILE drowning, and he let go

SHE LOVES CHOKING!!! you idiot!!!! that's her twist!!!!

Posted by josh at 1:16 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 35 mins into Basic Instinct 2

cue destruction of own physical property

CUE READING MORE OF HER BOOK!!!!

she just picked up to an ice pik - i never saw the original, but i know this is a big deal

i love audio-montages - when they overlay her voice on her voice. shows the passage of time.... in READING

oh no!!! sharon stone is gonna kill his girl-friend. not a girlfriend!! grow up!!!!

Posted by josh at 1:18 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 31 mins into Basic Instinct 2

well, i think it is safe to say we know they aren't going to have sex for the rest of the movie. so if this is my last post, it's not my fault.

"who is trying to kill me?"
"catherine!"

"i've already spoken to catherine....she's very upset you terrified her"

"for chrissakes michael you had sex with your own patient!"

ohhhh diss!!! she said MICHAEL is the one that needs help.

Posted by josh at 1:20 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 38 mins into Basic Instinct 2

she just showed up to the house WITH SO MUCH CLEAVAGE

"she's my patient now!"
"please don't... you have no idea what you're getting into"

oh no he hit elana!!! so much cleavage.... really that is absurd amount of cleavage... she has a gun!!!

Posted by josh at 1:22 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 43 mins into Basic Instinct 2

i think it would be hard to be inches away from sharon stone and not kiss her... even if she was in the midst of ruining my life. it's more of a physical proximity thing... that intimacy plus all the whispering plus all the stone would be confusing.

michael just shot roy!!!

and sharon stone is copping a feel on elana!! who may be michael's mom... i don't reall know..

NOOOO!!! MICHAEL JUST GOT STOPPED BY THE COPS... sharon stone LOVES this... handcuffs?

HE JUST SCREAMED LIKE A "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

that was a crazy scream... if this movie had been seen by any of my friends i'm sure that's how we'd make fun of it

Posted by josh at 1:23 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 47 mins into Basic Instinct 2

he's in INSANE ASYLUM.... and now she's visiting him!!! she's not showing any cleavage though... too inappropriate.

she just starting rubbing his leg. she's telling him the plot of her new book. SURPRISE!!! it's the same goddamn story.

this actually sounds like a horrible book idea. like sure, she can say it out loud, but it sounds really stupid.

i really need to go to bed but i can't miss any of this ending... ugggggh

Posted by josh at 1:28 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 50 mins into Basic Instinct 2

she started making out with him. he's unresponsive.

he's smiling! really? he smiled? thats pretty lame man, she just ruined your life.

night y'all!

Posted by josh at 1:32 AM 0 comments

manualist plays guns n roses - sweet child o' mine!

i would hire him for my wedding in a heartbeat

fuuuuuuck... i left my alarm clock on

i live above my landlord.
i started temping for my first time today.
i ran back up the stairs i thought i forgot something.
my landlord got pissed.

fuuuuuuuuuuuuck i left my alarm clock on.
it's going to run all day, and all night if i don't go home.
he's gonna be SO pissed.

maybe i'll live blog my anxiety today about how pissed he's gonna be.

its 11:56 AM. i have a lot of anxiety. can he get pissed at me if i give him my rent today? this is going to be a day rife with emotions.