All of the following are meant to be spoken by the feminine computer voice you hear in your voicemail menus, ATMs, and automatic grocery machines.
Jay Z
If You're Having Phone Problems
I Feel Bad For You Son
Press Ninety Nine Pound
Then Star Then One
R Kelly
Sip On Coke And Rum
And Like So What You're Drunk
Change Your Freakin' Answering Message
Dial Star Three Three One
Notorious BIG
Biggie Biggie Biggie Can't You See
Change Your Password, Press Pound Three
*Bonus*
When I was considering what phone to use for R Kelly, I considered using this "sexphone" (it's NSFW, but it's not gross)
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