Happy New Year!!!

Things I want in 2008

1) Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull tickets.
2) New Rambo Poster.
3) You All to Leave Britney Alone.
4) Not a Republican President. Also, not Hillary Clinton.
5) Real Emotional Trash.
6) A Job.
7) To Write and Record (at least) 4 Songs.
8) To Hear a Great New Sound.
9) To Keep Writing This Blog.
10) Broflex.

Mischa Barton arrested for drunk driving

Mischa Barton arrested for drunk driving

Interesting enough, this plotline was never explored for Marissa on The O.C. (don't call it that).

C'mon (Josh) Schwartz! She had at least a half a season left in her!!!

Tracy McGrady - 13 points in 35 seconds

i'm a big tmac fan

Jackass: The Online Movie (Movie?) (Wait what?)

I would like to start this by saying I loved both Jackass and Jackass: Number Two. I even thought there was a lot to discuss about it - if it was art, if it was a movie, why critics praise it as a film but it is dismissed as garbage as television.

But this week it was announced that.... (from hollywoodreporter.com) (i got the link from drudge) (i am honestly ashamed of all the links that got me here).....

In a radical departure from the traditional movie business model, Paramount Pictures Digital Entertainment and MTV New Media are co-producing "Jackass 2.5," a sequel to its two-time boxoffice hit that will skip multiplexes entirely. Instead, "2.5" will be offered online for free over a two-week span beginning Dec. 19 courtesy of Blockbuster and its new online property Movielink, which will exclusively host the 64-minute film during that period. The movie will be made available at blockbuster.jackassworld.com.

So Jackass 2.5 will be the first online movie. Let us pontificate on this.

First off, let's consider the business meeting that pitched this idea.

"Why don't we send over those idiot kids to do their dumb stunts and make themselves look like birdbrains for another hour and we'll put it online! As long as those morons don't kill themselves we'll have another hit! And if those dopey imbeciles do, well, then screw those nincompoops!"

This event, sure, is a landmark moment in film distribution. But, c'mon Paramount, first off, we see Jackassian clips all the time on Youtube - you are basically splicing 64 minutes of them together.

Sure, there is a Jackaesthetic that will thread the movie together (my favorite theme is vomiting cameramen). But how will this Jackaesthetic be perceived when it is watched over the same medium as other amateur films [ed. note" films!?!? I guess I must?], some which we surely be better than the Jackass, umm, performance pieces. Will Jackass get the same respect as a film, which it most certainly did in its last outing, when distributed over the internet?*

My guess is no - I think the charm of Jackass was seeing it in celluloid. The elevation of the material emboldens the choices of the studio and the, uhh, writers, directors, and actors. Wow.

A landmark moment sure. I believe that Jackass and Jackass: Number Two are movies. But what elevates, what is essentially a longer, unrated t.v. episode, to that status?

Sorry to dismiss Jackass, but I believe the real landmark moment will be when major studio distributes a studio picture online. Something written, something directed, something acted. Unfortunately, this indicates to me that I do feel a distinction of high and low art.

"You see, this is my life! It always will be! Nothing else! Just us, the cameras, and those wonderful people out there in the dark!... All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for leeches placed on my EYEBALL."

*Metacritic Score for Jackass: Number 2 - 66.... and according to New York Times reviewer Nathan Lee... "Debased, infantile and reckless in the extreme, this compendium of body bravado and malfunction makes for some of the most fearless, liberated and cathartic comedy in modern movies."

Son of a Bitch

jim is a wannabe dolphin caretaker. can't you see it?

The Bowflex

look what happens when you buy a bowflex. you turn PSYCHOTIC.

Fuck Greg Oden

Some of you may know that I was considering moving to Portland, Oregon earlier this year. The plan was to move there, become a huge Blazers fan, and hope that the overhyped Pacific Northwest division rivalry of Durant vs. Oden would actually become the next great story in the NBA.

Well, I guess that wasn't enough to actually convince me to move, but rather blame than instincts and call myself a "wuss" (cue echos "uss uss uss uss"), I'm so glad I didn't move.

Reason #1) The Seattle Supersonics are probably going to move to Oklahoma City (I honestly don't know if that's in Oklahoma or Kansas... I'm going to assume its in Oklahoma).

Reason #2) Gred Oden's rookie season ended before it even started with a leg injury. Oh yeah, one of his legs is longer than the others, and deformities like that will probably fuck you up in a sport that sorta requires healthy legs.

but most importantly, Reason #3) Dwight Howard.

(Part 1)

Why the FUCK would anyone care about Greg Oden when Dwight Howard is not even 22 yet. Have you seen this guy? Not his picture on his NBA.com stat page - I'm talking about seeing this guy's body in action... each of his shoulders is the size of an office chair. He even had an incredible move at the Slam Dunk competition.

(There will always be dunks.)

(Part 2)

But let's forget who has a better NBA center's body for a moment, let's just examine these two players mentally. You've got Dwight Howard, who has never missed an NBA game (he was the last highschool-to-NBA player), who says this...

"I want to be one of the greatest players to play basketball."

And meanwhile, the overhyped, #1 pick in this year's draft Greg Oden, who says this...

"I like dentistry," Oden said at the Final Four. "I just went to the dentist. It was nice" and then "I wanted to be a dentist back in the day."

(Part 3)

At this point I have to pay respect to The Onion...

Greg Oden On Final Four Appearance: 'I'm Happier Than I've Been In 30 Years'

(Conclusion)

I'm sorry, I don't care if this is his quirky sense of humor, which I know he has. Let assholes like me make jokes about wanting to be a dentist. I'm an asshole. You are a basketball player. Win a championship and you can pretend you are Shaq. Or just go to dentist school and become an asshole. But let me warn you this... no one wants to go to a 7 foot dentist who ages faster than Walter Donovan in Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade.

Judgment Day... but seriously folks

Before you consider watching this clip...

I want to first point out that

A) This is possibly the dumbest youtube clip ever.
B) This has some of the funniest youtube comments ever.

whoever made this though, we are a big fan of you at TCRM

my blog has been getting REALLY skanky lately...

but i couldn't resist.

Pittsburgh Slim - Girls Kiss Girls

I was wondering when we were going to see the cultural impact of LFO's "Girls of the Summer." This is by far the saddest music video I've ever seen.

Sharon Stone Giving Birth To Fully Grown Camel

Thank you(?), Dan.

We Tigers in a High School Musical

i would love to see vanessa hudgens get down to who could win a rabbit

The War Wages On

According to BENAZIR BHUTTO in today's nytimes...

"It is dangerous to stand up to additional plugins, but more dangerous not to. The moment has come for the Western democracies to show us in their actions, and not just in their rhetoric, which side they are on."

Are We In On The Joke Yet? Oh, Myspace!

First off, I'm not sure who to blame on this one. It could very well be the very same plugins I've been complaining about (see post below).

Is it possible, though, that this is some sort of viral campaign? That this ad completely encapsulates what we are all thinking about myspace and then winks at us? I mean, here I am talking about how shitty this ad is, and yet if someone asks me tomorrow "when does The Golden Compass come out?" I will not only know the answer, I'll want to keep talking about The Golden Compass's shitty ads.

Or maybe it's just a shitty ad. My money is on the plugins though.

PLUGINS!!!!!!

Word of the Day: PLUGINS

today has been pretty frustrating with regards to plugins.

i wanted to visit a link. i couldn't.

i wanted to play virtual NES. nope.

i sent a link to a friend. he couldn't watch it.

PLUGINS!!!!!!

live blogging 1 hr and 15 mins into Basic Instinct 2

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

live blogging 1 hr and 15 mins into Basic Instinct 2

okay so we finally saw sharon stone get naked. she's talked about some pretty nasty things, but now she's really committing to them.

interesting trivia - i told jim how paul verhoeven makes fun of movies like this in Showgirls, and i just discovered he actually directed the original Basic Instinct 2.

Posted by josh at 1:00 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 21 mins into Basic Instinct 2

man she shows SO much cleavage in this movie. this was probably included in her contract.

i told jim that i hope they make a Basic Instinct 3 where she continues to try to seduce men but she's too old and disgusting

Posted by josh at 1:04 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 18 mins into Basic Instinct 2

more shitty plot twists. thinking about watching the lakers-houston game.

Posted by josh at 1:03 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 23 mins into Basic Instinct 2

this movie is really really lonely. a few more extras would've been nice. also the analyst's friend is imitating pierce brosnan.

Posted by josh at 1:06 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 25 mins into Basic Instinct 2

there should really be more fucking. this IS on showtime at 1:09 am.

Posted by josh at 1:08 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 29 mins into Basic Instinct 2

okay, he finally realizes that sharon stone is bad news. this took an hour and 27 minutes of film time.

sharon stone's robe is falling off as she writes about "sexxxxx" "they have sexxxx" "sexxxxxx"

i love "upscale" apartments in faux-porn movies. i imagine that the heating bill is absurd... all that metal.

she just asked him to take a jacuzzi with him!!!

Posted by josh at 1:09 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 30 mins into Basic Instinct 2

she's not jus twearing a robe, it's pretty much off and she's holding it JUST above her cleavage - that damn contract!

Posted by josh at 1:14 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 31 mins into Basic Instinct 2

YES!!!!! she's naked in jacuzzi!!!!

"IT'S ALMOST LIKE YOU KILLED THEM YOURSELF. WHO DO YOU THINK I'M GOING TO KILL NEXT. COME ON. YOU FIGURE IT OUT!"

crazy music!

OMG HE"S DROWNING HER IN THE JACZZI!!!

Posted by josh at 1:15 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 32 mins into Basic Instinct 2

she just smiled at him WHILE drowning, and he let go

SHE LOVES CHOKING!!! you idiot!!!! that's her twist!!!!

Posted by josh at 1:16 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 35 mins into Basic Instinct 2

cue destruction of own physical property

CUE READING MORE OF HER BOOK!!!!

she just picked up to an ice pik - i never saw the original, but i know this is a big deal

i love audio-montages - when they overlay her voice on her voice. shows the passage of time.... in READING

oh no!!! sharon stone is gonna kill his girl-friend. not a girlfriend!! grow up!!!!

Posted by josh at 1:18 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 31 mins into Basic Instinct 2

well, i think it is safe to say we know they aren't going to have sex for the rest of the movie. so if this is my last post, it's not my fault.

"who is trying to kill me?"
"catherine!"

"i've already spoken to catherine....she's very upset you terrified her"

"for chrissakes michael you had sex with your own patient!"

ohhhh diss!!! she said MICHAEL is the one that needs help.

Posted by josh at 1:20 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 38 mins into Basic Instinct 2

she just showed up to the house WITH SO MUCH CLEAVAGE

"she's my patient now!"
"please don't... you have no idea what you're getting into"

oh no he hit elana!!! so much cleavage.... really that is absurd amount of cleavage... she has a gun!!!

Posted by josh at 1:22 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 43 mins into Basic Instinct 2

i think it would be hard to be inches away from sharon stone and not kiss her... even if she was in the midst of ruining my life. it's more of a physical proximity thing... that intimacy plus all the whispering plus all the stone would be confusing.

michael just shot roy!!!

and sharon stone is copping a feel on elana!! who may be michael's mom... i don't reall know..

NOOOO!!! MICHAEL JUST GOT STOPPED BY THE COPS... sharon stone LOVES this... handcuffs?

HE JUST SCREAMED LIKE A "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

that was a crazy scream... if this movie had been seen by any of my friends i'm sure that's how we'd make fun of it

Posted by josh at 1:23 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 47 mins into Basic Instinct 2

he's in INSANE ASYLUM.... and now she's visiting him!!! she's not showing any cleavage though... too inappropriate.

she just starting rubbing his leg. she's telling him the plot of her new book. SURPRISE!!! it's the same goddamn story.

this actually sounds like a horrible book idea. like sure, she can say it out loud, but it sounds really stupid.

i really need to go to bed but i can't miss any of this ending... ugggggh

Posted by josh at 1:28 AM 0 comments


live blogging 1 hr and 50 mins into Basic Instinct 2

she started making out with him. he's unresponsive.

he's smiling! really? he smiled? thats pretty lame man, she just ruined your life.

night y'all!

Posted by josh at 1:32 AM 0 comments

manualist plays guns n roses - sweet child o' mine!

i would hire him for my wedding in a heartbeat

fuuuuuuck... i left my alarm clock on

i live above my landlord.
i started temping for my first time today.
i ran back up the stairs i thought i forgot something.
my landlord got pissed.

fuuuuuuuuuuuuck i left my alarm clock on.
it's going to run all day, and all night if i don't go home.
he's gonna be SO pissed.

maybe i'll live blog my anxiety today about how pissed he's gonna be.

its 11:56 AM. i have a lot of anxiety. can he get pissed at me if i give him my rent today? this is going to be a day rife with emotions.

live blogging 1 hr and 50 mins into Basic Instinct 2

she started making out with him. he's unresponsive.

he's smiling! really? he smiled? thats pretty lame man, she just ruined your life.

night y'all!

live blogging 1 hr and 47 mins into Basic Instinct 2

he's in INSANE ASYLUM.... and now she's visiting him!!! she's not showing any cleavage though... too inappropriate.

she just starting rubbing his leg. she's telling him the plot of her new book. SURPRISE!!! it's the same goddamn story.

this actually sounds like a horrible book idea. like sure, she can say it out loud, but it sounds really stupid.

i really need to go to bed but i can't miss any of this ending... ugggggh

live blogging 1 hr and 43 mins into Basic Instinct 2

i think it would be hard to be inches away from sharon stone and not kiss her... even if she was in the midst of ruining my life. it's more of a physical proximity thing... that intimacy plus all the whispering plus all the stone would be confusing.

michael just shot roy!!!

and sharon stone is copping a feel on elana!! who may be michael's mom... i don't reall know..

NOOOO!!! MICHAEL JUST GOT STOPPED BY THE COPS... sharon stone LOVES this... handcuffs?

HE JUST SCREAMED LIKE A "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

that was a crazy scream... if this movie had been seen by any of my friends i'm sure that's how we'd make fun of it

live blogging 1 hr and 38 mins into Basic Instinct 2

she just showed up to the house WITH SO MUCH CLEAVAGE

"she's my patient now!"
"please don't... you have no idea what you're getting into"

oh no he hit elana!!! so much cleavage.... really that is absurd amount of cleavage... she has a gun!!!

live blogging 1 hr and 31 mins into Basic Instinct 2

well, i think it is safe to say we know they aren't going to have sex for the rest of the movie. so if this is my last post, it's not my fault.

"who is trying to kill me?"
"catherine!"

"i've already spoken to catherine....she's very upset you terrified her"

"for chrissakes michael you had sex with your own patient!"

ohhhh diss!!! she said MICHAEL is the one that needs help.

live blogging 1 hr and 35 mins into Basic Instinct 2

cue destruction of own physical property

CUE READING MORE OF HER BOOK!!!!

she just picked up to an ice pik - i never saw the original, but i know this is a big deal

i love audio-montages - when they overlay her voice on her voice. shows the passage of time.... in READING

oh no!!! sharon stone is gonna kill his girl-friend. not a girlfriend!! grow up!!!!

live blogging 1 hr and 32 mins into Basic Instinct 2

she just smiled at him WHILE drowning, and he let go

SHE LOVES CHOKING!!! you idiot!!!! that's her twist!!!!

live blogging 1 hr and 31 mins into Basic Instinct 2

YES!!!!! she's naked in jacuzzi!!!!

"IT'S ALMOST LIKE YOU KILLED THEM YOURSELF. WHO DO YOU THINK I'M GOING TO KILL NEXT. COME ON. YOU FIGURE IT OUT!"

crazy music!

OMG HE"S DROWNING HER IN THE JACZZI!!!

live blogging 1 hr and 30 mins into Basic Instinct 2

she's not jus twearing a robe, it's pretty much off and she's holding it JUST above her cleavage - that damn contract!

live blogging 1 hr and 29 mins into Basic Instinct 2

okay, he finally realizes that sharon stone is bad news. this took an hour and 27 minutes of film time.

sharon stone's robe is falling off as she writes about "sexxxxx" "they have sexxxx" "sexxxxxx"

i love "upscale" apartments in faux-porn movies. i imagine that the heating bill is absurd... all that metal.

she just asked him to take a jacuzzi with him!!!

live blogging 1 hr and 25 mins into Basic Instinct 2

there should really be more fucking. this IS on showtime at 1:09 am.

live blogging 1 hr and 23 mins into Basic Instinct 2

this movie is really really lonely. a few more extras would've been nice. also the analyst's friend is imitating pierce brosnan.

live blogging 1 hr and 21 mins into Basic Instinct 2

man she shows SO much cleavage in this movie. this was probably included in her contract.

i told jim that i hope they make a Basic Instinct 3 where she continues to try to seduce men but she's too old and disgusting

live blogging 1 hr and 18 mins into Basic Instinct 2

more shitty plot twists. thinking about watching the lakers-houston game.

live blogging 1 hr and 15 mins into Basic Instinct 2

okay so we finally saw sharon stone get naked. she's talked about some pretty nasty things, but now she's really committing to them.

interesting trivia - i told jim how paul verhoeven makes fun of movies like this in Showgirls, and i just discovered he actually directed the original Basic Instinct 2.

Havoc 2: Normal Adolescent Behavior Official Trailer

try watching this trailer without saying "what??" when you reach the end.

WANTED: TENORI-ON

if you have one you are in my band... as long as i can play with it.

digital love

who said romance is dead?

Wrestlepocalypse!!! intros

part 1

Wrestlepocalypse!!!

part 2

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

+

Mr. Rogers talks to the US senate

git yo kleenex

Wrestlepocalypse Trailer

i hope no one got hurt!!!

a great re-enactment of my last year of college

The Bleeps, the Sweeps, and the Creeps

Michael Winslow "makes noises"

i am not worthy, SUPERINTENDENT SKULL!!!

though he is more hardcore than principal skull, he's also an idiot.

blade... the montage

if anyone has forgotten how blade is an american hero, watch this heartwarming montage, set to music you might hear on a wb show

Waite-ing to Get Boned

In today's frontpage of The New York Times, an article about the future of abstinence education focuses somewhat on the "public face" of a group called Virginity Rules, a now high school graduate named Jami Waite. First off, I must identify the silliness of her un-pornstar name. Thank goodness she wasn't the child of Reverend Timothy Bones. And while the "e" should really be at the end of the Jami (seriously how many different ways does one need to spell the same name), we'll excuse her because she's just so goddamn cute.

In fact, she's so cute, she sort of reminds me of a young Tara Reid.

Funny enough, Tara Reid wanted to waite in the movie American Pie, and after she caved in to carnal temptation, she broke up Thomas Ian Nicholas, who was star of Rookie of the Year. Don't worry I'm not going to get to Kevin Bacon. But after they have sex, they break up not wanting to carry on a long distance relationship. Anyway, it really hurts the T.I.N.-man's feelings in American Pie 2, and this is probably one of the reasons they shouldn't have had sex.

Tara was also a nymphomaniac in Big Lebowski and had her first onscreen orgasm as a high school senior in American Pie. Maybe Waite is the public face for this very reason? Provide hope for all the Tara Reids? "I'll promise to wait until marriage to suck your dick for a thousand dollars." Maybe sex before marriage means you'll be engaging in it compulsively and without joy. Kinda sounds like Tara's purpose in Hollywood, no?

I think the message of having a Tara Reid-lookalike as the face of the Abstinence movement is about all these things. Look at the career of Tara Reid and read it as the consequences of premarital sex. And I kinda see the point: having sex too soon in movies can be disastrous for your career. See the parallels? I'm renting Havoc tonight.

If you want to learn more, the hotline (is it a hotline if its about abstinence?) for Virginity Rules 2.0 is 866-WAIT-NOW. I can't waite.



Also, this is my favorite part of the article....

“You have to look at why sex was created,” Eric Love, the director of the East Texas Abstinence Program, which runs Virginity Rules, said one day, the sounds of Christian contemporary music humming faintly in his Longview office. “Sex was designed to bond two people together.”

To make the point, Mr. Love grabbed a tape dispenser and snapped off two fresh pieces. He slapped them to his filing cabinet and the floor; they trapped dirt, lint, a small metal bolt. “Now when it comes time for them to get married, the marriage pulls apart so easily,” he said, trying to unite the grimy strips. “Why? Because they gave the stickiness away.”

I think I get what he's saying... don't tape a broken condom back together.

Tara Reid... A Reason to Wait

So young and full of potential. But look what happens when you don't abstain....

Hardly an angel.

Don't think of it as a wardrobe malfunction. Think of it as a sign.

No you're the greatest, Tara. The greatest sinner I know.

The boob job botchery... another malfunction?

Lucky for you, Tara, God forgives...
Enjoy your second chance.

Alice Cooper-Poison

"Everybody relates to trash. Kids get trashed by the cops, trashed in school, trashed at home. We live in a highly pressured time. It's a dangerous world and trash is what it's all about." -Alice Cooper

Fast Food Freestyle

"but i swear, if that happened to me at work i would quit right there, because nothing would be better than that" -Alex Hartzler, employee of McDonalds

iPhone: The Music Video

nerds!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i pledge allegiance to mickey mouse

I didn't realize you could become a Disney World citizen.

sssssssssssick

stop eating burgers!

i just found an experimental bag of doritos today called "Doritos X-13D" - the flavor is for you to guess. anyway, i tried one and the taste was so familiar. was it buffalo sauce with blue cheese? nope. some type of mix of cheddar? nope. it was, get this, a WHOPPER dorito.




it didn't just kinda taste like a whopper - it WAS a whopper. you could taste the mayo, the mustard, the pickles and the onions. i don't know how this could be a "cool" idea for a chip, as some of my coworkers felt. one could imply that a whopper was just the same combinations of a few flavors and chemicals but with a different texture. that's just fucked up. maybe one day burger king will fuck up and have burgers that taste like fries, fries that taste like coke, and coke that tastes like burgers. if i were still in college i'd end this entry with something condescending like "would we even notice?" fuck yeah we would. but that's why there is no room for variation in flavor.

YESSS! i'm soooooooo excited (and not scared)

indiana is so hot right now. the guy is 65 years old in july, which means he's getting back on a horse (hopefully) while most people his age are getting ready to retire. and he looks gooood. he's a year younger than bob dylan but you'd never think'it. my impression is that this picture is a pretty good reflection of what ford's been up to for the past 10 years (sans joint).

anyway, here are some possibilities for indiana jones 4

Indiana Jones and the Search for the Jesus Snake

Spielberg realizes the profitability in making movies that can be marketed to church groups (Evan Almighty, Chronicles of Narnia, Phat Girlz). In this adventure, the Nazis realize that if they find Jesus, they can harness the power of God and conquer the world. Jones is asked by the U.S. government to find Jesus before the Nazis do, and with his bravado he does. Only problem is.... Jesus has returned to earth in the form of a snake! Indiana must conquer his fear of snakes and Jones and Jesus must come together to save the world. Shia LaBeouf stars as Jesus Snake.



Indiana Jones and Red Clock of Destiny

After the destruction of temple in Canyon of the Crescent Moon, the world is convinced Indiana has died and he uses this opportunity to live in hiding for fear of Nazi assassination. He has given up his adventures and spends his days relaxing on his ranch when he befriends a courageous young boy, Montana Shepard, who discovers Indiana's secret past. Convinced he's too old for adventures, Indiana disappoints the child. That is, until Indiana Jones discovers that the Communists have obtained a weapon of mass destruction known as the Clock of Destiny - an Incan wristwatch that is capable of turning cities into dust. The only problem is, they do not know how to use it! Montana convinces Indiana out of retirement for one last adventure! Tom Cruise stars as Stalin.



Indiana Jones and the Island of Lost Heroes

Indiana faces his biggest challenge yet! On a voyage through Bermuda, Indiana gets lost and finds a deserted island...or is it!?! A native tribe is led by John McClane, Rocky Balboa, The Terminator, Ellen Ripley, and John J. Rambo who must fight Aliens who live inside the Volcano. Only problem is, the tribe has captured a Predator, who Indiana knows, must be free in order to battle the Aliens. Indiana must pick a side in this epic adventure of the meaning of friendship. Frank Stallone stands in as Rambo.

Craig Kilborn Ready To Return To The Daily Show

LOS ANGELES—Former late-night television personality Craig Kilborn announced Monday that he has decided to return to the show he says he...

Robert Horry gamewinner vs Kings in WCF 2002

i'll never forget this

Wacky Wild KoolAid Style 1988

OHHH YEAAAAAAH

Flea Market Montgomery - Long Version

this is the definition of "rap music"

dancing!!!

this guy's got some MOVES

Iraq for Sale Banned Excerpts

this is insane.

sunset on mars

i'm a real sucker for mars news. i recently came across this photograph (or is it a picture?) of sunset on mars, which i think is pretty incredible.



anyway, the latest news on the mission to mars is that NASA is having to deal with major ethical questions. according to the AP, one of these questions is "How do you cope with sexual desire among healthy young men and women during a mission years long?" my boss suggested sending stephen hawking, since "he probably can't have sex" and "who would be attracted to him?" wow. maybe he's right. but if we've learned anything from the movies "Mission to Mars," "Red Planet," or really just "2001: A Space Oddysey," any ambitious mission like this will be subject to "go terribly awry," and become a "a catastrophic and mysterious disaster."

so what does this mean? even if you send someone up that is terribly attractive, something is bound to go wrong. maybe space radiation will cure stephen hawking into a handsome horny genius. also, why would you send someone on a mission like this with the same voice as HAL 9000? it really just doesn't make any sense. if you send stephen hawking, we'll be in deep shit.

my recommendation?

ouch, nihal!

nihal followed up with the bet this weekend and OUCH it's a doozy. basically he quoted an onion article the entire way through, changed some parts, and dissed that crazy rap music. shows you how little pride he has to follow a bet. i wasn't looking for in-depth analysis of why my blog is better. a tip of the hat, however, would have been perfect. but nihal got super sensitive and tried to lash out at me. let's recap: nihal wrote on his blog about how my blog was better. what a cool guy! i mean, way cooler than me. i hope last night he was bragging to some fine young ladies in some new dive in williamsburg about how he was going getting ready to rip into his friend's blog because of some "stupid bet."

to nihal: i offer you a picture i once sent some baby who lived in my dorm freshman year...

in honor of the kentucky derby....

TCRM One. Cosmodrome (well, just Nihal) ZERO!

that's right rap fans!!! last night's warriors-mavs game was one for the ages. and how did dirk nowitzki do?

Name	Min	FG	3Pt	FT	Stl	Reb	Ast	TO	Pts
D. Nowitzki	38	2-13	0-6	4-4	1	10	2	3	8		2

8 points? EIGHT POINTS??? he couldn't even get into double digits and he is likely this season's MVP winner. i think this is indicative of the disappointment we should all feel for this year's regular season (the playoffs so far have been excellent). dirk can be mvp for the regular season because the competition was so dismal - this mavs team would not be 67-15 if the western conference was what it used to be.

but to more important matters! 8 points fell shy of the 25 needed for Nihal to win the bet, which means he has to post on Cosmodrome how thatcrazyrapmusic is a superior blog. For those of you who don't know, Cosmodrome has a bunch of writers (kinda like dailykos) while no one writer is representative of the entire blog. but Nihal put cosmodrome's reputation on the line and he fell short. bow to me, cosmodrome!

as for you, mvp dirk nowitzki: hang your head in shame. it's gonna be a long summer.

the bet is on!

well blog/NBA fans - today we have something exciting for you! I made a bet with Cosmodrome's Nihal over Dirk Nowitzki's performance tonight. If Dirk scores fewer than 25 points tonight, Nihal will have to write a post about how TCRM is a superior blog (that's right... i abbreviated it. i told you today is exciting!).

Bill Simmons wrote a column today about how Golden State fans are the best in the playoffs right now, which makes me even more confident that I have this one in the bag. I also think Stephen Jackson is going to play insane tonight (he's covering Dirk) and that the Mavs are not going to find any momentum. I hope I can catch the end of the game... I am seeing spiderman 3 at midnight (<--oh wait that was about me! i promised this blog will never be about me!).

Oh, and if i lose the bet (i won't), I have to sing Nihal's praises on TCRM. Even if I lose (i won't), that'll be fun too. I have some BIG plans for that.

Nihal.... what if he scores exactly 25? I think that he has to go over for you to win.

Good luck tonight GSW! Good luck tonight Spidey! Good luck tonight fans of rap music!

bill simmons's cruelty, part 2

bill simmons imagines what will happen between NBA commissioner David Stern and Dirk Nowitzki at the MVP award ceremony...


--Stern: "Well, Dirk, maybe the playoffs didn't turn out the way you planned, but for 82 meaningless games during one of the worst seasons of my 23-year tenure, you were the best player in a terrible league. Unfortunately, voting for the award happens right after the regular season, so voters weren't able to factor in your complete meltdown in Round 1 against Golden State. You didn't just fail to step up like an MVP should, you whined and complained the entire series, disgraced your teammates and embarrassed your fans. Not since David Hasselhoff has America been so embarrassed by a German. I don't know whether to hand you this trophy or smash it over your head. Lucky for you, this is being televised, so I can only hand you the trophy and congratulate you on the 2006-07 Most Valuable Player Award. I'm going to leave now so I can throw up." --Dirk Nowitzki (taking the trophy): "Thank you, Mr. Commissioner."

wow man that is cruel. but i must say this was one of the worst basketball seasons i can remember. maybe that is what is making the NBA playoffs so exciting right now: EVERY team was awful. even the mavs, with their impressive record this year, never got through to me. josh howard? jerry stackhouse? jason terry? i can't wait for golden state to destroy them (maybe not tonight in dallas, but definitely in oakland).

how to remove tourists from your photos

i came across this website and thought it was a really bizarre idea: how to remove tourists from your photos? and who would go searching for something like this?



get 'im outta here!!!

omg dennis kucinich's wife is bangin'

there should totally be an award show for "biggest winners in marriage." it would be based on the ugliness and personality of the man and how well he does in "lockin' down a hottie." i am SO curious as to how good looking keith van horn's wife is. if anyone can find a picture PLEASE link me!

i'd like to make this fancier but...

this is for kati... okay so if keys on a keyboard were assigned a number value, this is what Pi would sound like...

enjoy pi fans!

Dan Deacon on NBC

this guy is incredible - i wish i saw him when he came to chicago - don't miss him!!!

this crazy rap music

biggie smalls. seventeen years old. this guy rules.

Is Risk for Nerds?

I love playing Risk. What is more fun than competing with 1-5 other friends in a game of world conquest? The game demands a lot of abstract thinking and if you try to conquer too many territories with too few armies, what will appear to be a conquest will become an embarrassment. Protect the borders of South America! Leave one army behind! I'm so excited for my upcoming game against fellow Risk fans Peter and Chris.

Two days ago, however, I was mocked by some of my closer friends for being so passionate about Risk. When did a game of world conquest become dorky? I've decided that I can't play Risk and keep a blog. While I recognize that neither is "cool," I am comfortable accepting that the two of them could be as volatile to my reputation as Dungeons and Dragons...WHICH, I might add, I have never played!

Risk or Blog? Must....choose....one.... AHHHHHHHHH Screw it! I'm a Risk-playing Blogger!!! If that makes me That Crazy Risk Blogger so be it!!!

are there rules to ping pong?

boris yeltsin you will be missed

huh huh doggy style huh huh get it?

n.ice

This American Life Completes Documentation Of Liberal, Upper-Middle-Class Existence

awesome picture from gonzales case

thank you, matt weir. let it inspire you all.

take your time. listen to the sound. remember, relax!

kobe bryant, i can't wait to see you in the playoffs

this guy scares the crap out of me

don't worry....

....they are only sleeping

wow! bill simmons take it easy (a.k.a. i love when you're an asshole)!

"By the way, I seriously considered giving him [Tim Duncan] the MVP for helping to rid the world of Joey Crawford last weekend. So long, Joey. Don't forget to downgrade from first class to coach on your flight back to hell." -Bill Simmons

my baby's daddy

Guns vs. MORE Guns?

"People are a little more cautious if somebody might have a gun there," the GOP presidential candidate told Politico reporters Tuesday. "A concealed gun carried by a responsible person -- that might have ended the problem that they had at Virginia Tech with one person being killed or two people being killed."

responsible person? i elect this guy...




wears glasses? honors american icon? makes sure not to shave too often to keep skin smooth?

give this man a gun people!

ben stiller does a pretty good bruce willis (brune stillis?)

i'm not a big ben stiller fan, especially after reading a great article about him by david denby, but i must say, i'm awfully impressed by his bruce willis imitation in "Die Hard 12: Die Hungry" from the Ben Stiller Show. then again, he's playing a meat-headed tough guy, and how many times have we seen that from him?




oh and in case you are interested, here is owen wilson's response letter to denby's article

back to the footure

it's about time....



the marty mcfly nike's from 2015 may be going into production. now if this happens, of course people like you and me will rejoice. but does this mean i have to buy them? i think it does, even if it reaches air jordan prices.