There Is Nothing Special About This Picture

And yet, it fills me with such joy to think about Nicolas Cage having a "Little Cage" who lives on his shoulder and whispers to him.

HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY Vs. NWA

Thanks to Dan F on this one. Watching this you realize how sad Dennis Haskin's career must've been. Of course, when we were younger, we assumed that while Zack was distracting us with his hijinks, Mr. Belding was sitting in his office, doing principal things. No, the actor Dennis Haskins would just show up every taping to ask "hey hey hey hey hey what is going on here?"

SAD.

But today I also discovered NWA's Straight Outta Compton edited down to only the swear words. It's sorta brilliant. (link)

GREAT.

So how are these different? Well, the answer is simple. One is awesome. Also, the one that is not awesome involves a man's career acting like a principal, spending a ton of time with actors pretending to be wholesome students (read Dustin Diamond's Behind the Bell, or better yet, don't). The other was inventing the genre of gangsta rap.

Super Bol

Manute Bol drainin' threes and throwing a block party!

"awesome video"

from Videogum

note the video on youtube is titled "awesome video"

Excellent Italian Greyhound

For all the Shellac fans out there.

3D Headtracking (It's Unreal)

watch this video by a carnegie mellon student that will give you an idea of the future of video games

The Year of ANDY D

click on the picture to see it larger. help make this year an Andy D year. (myspace)

Stephen Colbert Seen At Winter Olympics...

stealing this screenshot from videogum, but Gabe found it somewhere else. this is how the internet works people.

Simon Rich's "The Only E-Mails I Could Receive That Would Justify The Frequency With Which I Check My E-Mail"

Very funny - LINK

Now THAT Is What I Call A Film Pitch

from pitchfork's interview with Die Antwoord

Pitchfork: What is the movie about?

DA: The plot it this: Ninja, Yo-Landi and DJ Hi-Tek live in a kak little white hood called Sunnyside (the hood in the "Zef Side" clip). Ninja has this big plan to throw a fat-ass rave at his parents' house. But Ninja's parents don't trust him to look after the house while they go to Sun City. Eventually, Ninja manipulates his parents into trusting him enough to let him look after the house. Just after Ninja's parents fuck off to Sun City on holiday, Ninja forces Yo-Landi to steal money from her mom to hook up a fuck-off heavy sound system, a smoke machine, a strobe light, a phunky 3D visual mix on VHS to play on the TV in the chill room, tiger balm, party decorations, dop and a lot of zol. Only about eight people come to the rave, and everything is going pretty cool 'til Yo-Landi starts to fuck out from smoking too much of the coconut bong that somebody mixed with tik. This final scene is going be sort of like this hallucinogenic erotic nightmare that Yo-Landi experiences. The end of film is actually just going to be the full-length music video of "Beat Boy". The lyrics to "Beat Boy" describe this scene to the T. It's going to be pretty next-level.

Code: RAP-3009

I'm so lucky to have accidentally googled "rap 3009"

Also, if AI becomes so powerful, it can create terrible summer blockbuster ideas, I bet a James Bond rip off will be called "Code: Rap-3009"

If Rappers Tricked Out Their Voicemail Systems With Customized Menus

All of the following are meant to be spoken by the feminine computer voice you hear in your voicemail menus, ATMs, and automatic grocery machines.

Jay Z

If You're Having Phone Problems

I Feel Bad For You Son

Press Ninety Nine Pound

Then Star Then One

R Kelly

Sip On Coke And Rum

And Like So What You're Drunk

Change Your Freakin' Answering Message

Dial Star Three Three One

Notorious BIG

Biggie Biggie Biggie Can't You See

Change Your Password, Press Pound Three

*Bonus*

When I was considering what phone to use for R Kelly, I considered using this "sexphone" (it's NSFW, but it's not gross)

SNL: Chris Farley Ice Skating

get it while it's cold!

Cocoa Is For Closers

Tosh.Woah...

Tosh.0 Extreme Salvia Challenge - watch more funny videos

The guy from Tosh.0 tackles three web challenges - spoonful of cinnamon, 7 saltines, and smashing cocounts(?) WHILE on salvia

Google Super Bowl Ad Is Super Creepy

made by yours truly.

There Haven't Been Dunks (Sorry)

Derrick Rose Alley Oop Dunk vs Hawks

Glengarry Glen Ross speech

never seen this movie, saw this at AV Club, and now it's top of my queueueueueueueueue

If Wes Anderson Directed Spider-Man

What My Parallel Version Of Myself Might Be Doing If I Didn't Move to LA

In the spirit of LOST's use of parallel universes, I thought about what I'd be doing if I never moved to LA.

9:00 am PST, 12:00 am EST

LA Me: Looking at Google Reader while eating breakfast

NY Me: Looking at Google Reader while eating lunch

1:00 pm PST, 4:00 pm EST

LA Me: Writing something retarded on my blog, eating lunch, drinking coffee

NY Me: Reading something retarded I wrote on my blog earlier in the day, dealing with a coffee headache

7:00 pm PST, 10:00 pm EST

LA Me: Watching an episode of Gilmore Girls off my DVR while I eat dinner

NY Me: Watching an episode of Gilmore Girls off my harddrive

10:00 pm PST, 1:00 am EST

LA Me: Still watching Gilmore Girls off my DVR

NY Me: Still watching Gilmore Girls off my harddrive, wondering if I should upgrade to DVR

mindmelting!

New Favorite Theory of LOST

dan, you are my fucking hero today (well, always)

C 3PO sells C Chicken

thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, dan

TAXIJAM

Taxijam presents Die Antwoord from taxijam on Vimeo.

gabe from Videogum knocks it out the park again. watch before you keep reading.

Gabe later found out these guys are comedians from South Africa, making fun of South African middle class, but if there ever was a target that I've always thought needed to be satirized, I'd say its the South African middle class.

L O S -OME

drink that in.

thanks for the screenshot jim!

Why Nicolas Cage is Greater than all the 2010 Oscar PICTURE Choices

Best Picture nominations were announced today, and maybe it's the just the superfast news cycle, but I'm already bored by them. Here is why Nicolas Cage tops everything.

“Avatar”

Loved Avatar, but a guy whose mind goes into a blue cat alien isn't that complicated. How about in Leaving Las Vegas, when Nicolas Cage was suffering mindcrushing alcohol addiction, the only way he can experience love is when Elisabeth Shue becomes an avatar for a whiskey glass, so Cage can drink off of her. What's sadder? A guy with paralyzed legs, or a guy with a paralyzed mind? Winner: Cage.

“The Blind Side”

I really shouldn't even have to waste my time with this one, but consider in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, when Forest Whitaker runs on the football field with non-diagetic lion sounds coming from him. That was a pretty racist football moment, though maybe would lose to The Blind Side in the racist superbowl (I mean, hopefully). Well, Nic Cage makes an appearance, about as long as FW's, and is a much better movie (even though I haven't seen this one). Winner: Cage.

“District 9″

I know everyone loved this movie, but nothing really resonated with me. People would say things like "don't you get it!!?! it's a metaphor!!!!" Anyway, the main guy turns into a prawn. Well, in Ghost Rider, Nicolas Cage becomes a Ghost Rider. And Sam Elliott rides a horse. Winner: Cage.

“An Education”

This movie was so lovely! The colours were radiante! Actually, I never saw it, but I did once see the trailer for Bad Education. And that's about drugs. And Bad Lieutenant is about Nicolas Cage's descent into pill popping madness while trying to solve a murder. And it's just better. Winner: Cage.

“The Hurt Locker”

This movie was pretty damn awesome, but I know another movie about a special tactical force that also runs toward dangerous situations. And that unit is called G-FORCE. Sure it's made of guinea pigs, but you know what? If the army could train guinea pigs to defuse bombs, they would. Winner: Cage.

“Inglourious Basterds”

I loved this one, too. I love historical fiction, but if we're making shit up for the sake of the story, National Treasure gets it DONE. Winner: Cage.

“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”

Never going to see this movie. Just absolutely don't care. Another movie with a terrible title name that I'm probably never going to see is Captain Correlli's Mandolin. And that shit has alliteration. Winner: Cage.

“A Serious Man”

Ooo, I didn't realize this one was even nominated. It deserved it. But when Nicolas Cage complained to Cher about his wooden hand in Moonstruck, he was pretty damn serious too. Winner: Cage.

“Up”

Up is an animated feature. It's tough for Nicolas Cage to compete with that. OR IS IT? Nicolas Cage has to play John Travolta inhabiting his body in Face/Off (actually this one works for Avatar too) while infiltrating Castor Troy's evil lair. "It's like looking in a mirror. Only... not." What does this have to do with "Up?" Winner: Cage.

“Up in the Air"

Con-Air. Winner: Cage.