SOUTER IS RETIRING!

SHOOOOT HERRRR!!!!

Oh wait... it gets worse...

baaaaaarf

"Years from now, when historians reflect on the time we are currently living in, the names Biz Stone and Evan Williams will be referenced side by side with the likes of Samuel Morse, Alexander Graham Bell, Guglielmo Marconi, Philo Farnsworth, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs..." [link]

How Smug Is This Headline/Byline

From Time Magazine's list of most influential people...

yikes! [link]

QBALB

This is for you, Anthony.

Spielberg DONTYOUFCKINGDARE

The 20th year reunion of The Goonies recently took place and Spielberg looked as sinister as ever. Now I have no official reason to ever think this would happen, wouldn't it make sense that this would happen?

I Love This Game!

What a fun picture! [link]

An Evil Wind Approaches...

Fuckhouse Commons: The Movie, Please Work Already

Click here or the image above to watch the movie

As many of you know, Jim will be departing our apartment for even more amazing adventures. A lot of what happened in our glorious home inspired what ended up on this blog. I hope Jim's departure won't mean the same of you.

So here it is. The gayest tribute ever. Yes, its supergay, but you totally wish you had a BFF that would make you a video like this.

Oh and feel free to end it as soon as you get to Gilmore Girls.

FUCK YOUTUBE, FUCK VIMEO, FUCK DAILYMOTION

I have made the most amazing movie in celebration of Jim's departure from Fuckhouse Commons, but all video sharing sites have a problem with me sharing it because it includes a Todd Rundgren song.

Really sorry for these technical difficulties. This supergay video will be up as soon as possible. It's totally worth it (and super super gay).

The Band - I Shall be Released

Why not? I saw this on the front page of digg, which is shocking.

Sister Rosetta Tharpe - Down By the Riverside

Bob Dylan tells us in his radio show to go to youtube to check out Sister Rosetta Tharpe, who traveled with other blues greats, like Muddy Waters, to England. She fucking rocks.

Ben Linus Reads a Nursery Rhyme

so spooky!

Only Japanese Superheroes Can Prevent Forest FIres

Outside the Brooklyn Navy Yard

Brooklyn Navy Yard, EXT

Total Confidence!

gotta update your website....

Carousel, directed by Adam Berg (Stink Digital)

we watched this muted, but it was still outtafuckingcontrol nuts

Earth Day Rap Battle 4/22

this really happened!

"The Happening" Was A Happening

Last night Jim and I decided to finally hunker down and watch The Happening. M. Night is sort of a running joke in our apartment, a caricature combination of Eric Cartman and Kirk Van Houten (father of Milhouse). I'm always fascinated by people with clearly damaged egos who try to guard their true feelings, and nothing is more fun than parsing through a closet misanthrope's writing.

So before we went all in, we made sure to recap "Lady in the Water." To those who haven't seen it, it was a box office failure which was pretty much about an underappreciated writer, played by M. Night, needs to write stories to save the world (or something like that) and the most evil character is a petty movie critic.

So naturally, the most exciting part of "The Happening" is finding out who M. Night blames now. The answer: you!

Need proof? Only M. Night could write a movie where people stop and kill themselves, and then later have Zooey Daschenel say "Can you believe how crappy people are?"

When the studio was publicizing "Lady in the Water," we were (repeatedly) told this was a bedtime story he told his kids. Aww. Well since that movie's failure, he's apparently taken a hatred for children as well. Why else would he introduce two boys in the movie and then just minutes later have a faceless person poke the barrel of a shotgun out a door and shoot the children at point blank... oh and don't worry, he let's you see exactly how a spray of bullets hitting a child would look like.

don't worry this kid doesn't get shot

Think how far this man has come. In "The Sixth Sense" he directed Haley Joel Osmont into an Oscar-nominated performance. In "The Happening" the child that gets dumped onto Mark and Zooey is merely a prop.

I'm beginning to think the hokeyness of the tagline was actually really well designed. "We've Sensed It. We've Seen The Signs. Now... It's Happening." I think they realize that most of us are more intrigued with the writer/producer/director than the movies, and each new movie is just another chapter of this epic saga. It's like a more cynical, tragic Harry Potter series (and if you ask me, way more interesting). We've sensed that M. Night has lost trust in all humanity, we've seen the signs that he might be losing his mind, and now it's finally happening.

* * * *

Still, this movie was way more watchable than Lady in the Water. Don't get me wrong, this is one of the most horrible movies I've ever seen. But there were some amazing moments, one I must share with you.

During what they think is an impending airborn toxin attack, Mark Wahlberg yells at his wife and the few strangers with him to give him a second so he can PERFORM SCIENCE... This literally happens:

"I need a second okay? Just give me a second!....Just a second! I need a second okay? Why can't anybody give me a goddamn second?"

it gets better... remember he's in a field, with evil wind approaching, and a group of strangers seemingly waiting for him to lead them...

"All right, be scientific, douchebag. Identify the... rules... design the experiment... careful observation, measurements, that's what I'm trying to do, interpret the experimental pattern, interpret... What if it IS the plants? That group was larger than ours. This thing's been escalating all day. Smaller and smaller populations have been setting this off. They react to human stimulus. Maybe people are setting off the plants?"

* * * *

I hope I haven't given too much away, but I really encourage you all to see this movie. The dialogue is beyond atrocious, the direction of the actors is absent, and the tension is really forced. Watch it with friends and enjoy the ride down Shyamalan's psyche or take a shot every time someone says "happening" and you've got one of the most amazing drinking games ever. Either way, it's a hilarious time.

Look at This Mug

Don't look too long though. Yeesh!

Dance!

best moves ever.

Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D. Trailer

Big thanks to my main man Bennett who know exactly how to get TCRM's motor running.

Our Stars Hollow

A night in the life of Fuckhouse Commons.

"The Owl" by I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness

turn out the lights. hang out with a buddy. and watch this.

Obama Is So Famous

"How may I serve you, master?"
"Tell the people... to HOPE"

ugh, if you need to read the actual story blech fine ewww

MONSTER tomahawk 'BRON

i know that didn't make sense, but neither did the ferocity of this dunk

The Dark Backward

Watch The Dark Backward (1991) in Entertainment | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

Man I'm really on a tear now.

from imdb...

A man [Judd Nelson] pursues stand-up comedy encouraged by his fellow garbage man [Bill Paxton]. Though his friend, who accompanies him on accordion, continues to tell him how great he is, he actually stinks. When the "comedian" grows a third arm out of his back, the friend uses this twist to get him signed up with a sleazy talent agent, and it begins to look like his career is on the move, even though his girlfriend [Lara Flynn Boyle] has left him.

Also, Wayne Newton, James Caan, & Rob Lowe are in this.

The Nutt House (1989, Opening)

THIS WAS CREATED BY MEL BROOKS? now I know what i wlll talk about if I ever get to meet my boy m.b.

from wiki...

The Nutt House was the creation of executive producers Mel Brooks and Alan Spencer and was a broad farce about a once-prestigious New York City hotel which had of late fallen on hard times, in part, no doubt, due to its unfortunate name, the result of its being named for the proprietress, Edwina Nutt (Cloris Leachman). Other characters included manager Reginald Tarkington (Harvey Korman), and head of housekeeping Mrs. Frick (also portrayed by Leachman).

Santa Begins

original theatrical trailer for Santa Claus The Movie, from 1985, starring Dudley Moore and John Lithgow. Serious just wait for lithgow's moment.

Blu 'Balls

ludicrous speed, go!

Will You Be Here Tommorow?

there is only one word for this.... AHHHHHHH!!!!

thanks alex!

South/West

Kanye responds to South park, but i'm more impressed by this little irony...ooo! let me watch the video that mocks him, on his own website...

well thanks, Viacom!

How Else Do You Think Sly Stallone Gets Around?

Dan S and I were discussing a recent pic of Stallone from the upcoming "The Expendables"...


DS: "but dude has bee pounding gallons redbull and horse steroids the past few years. he is probably constantly twitching.... "
ME: "he probably doesn't even drive anymore... just runs like that"
DS: "he probably made a flinstone car and drives with his feet"
ME: "i imagine he's got a gun turret mounted on it too"
DS: "and an explosive-tipped bow and arrow set in the back seat"

so naturally...
enjoy!

The Best Sleep You'll Ever Have

inside a Tauntaun....
thanks Alex!

NIC CAGE HAS, ahem, HAD A CASTLE

frome here...

Cage said he had to live where his family felt happiest, and that they currently had residences both in the US and Europe.

“I want to live with the seasons,” he told the magazine. “That’s why I moved away from Los Angeles. It’s not good for your well-being if the sun shines the whole time.”

Obama is Iraq-Star President

what an awesome picture from the nytimes

Fucking Hell, Jim Carrey

look at what popped up on metacritic this morning (i reproduced it as best as i can, but its worth checking out if its still up):



get out of our lives. seriously, why doesn't jim carrey get as much shit as NC does?

500th TCRM POST! MASHUP! MASHUP!

or at least, let's switch up the taglines.

He's Chillin' and Killin'

He's the World's Coolest Dad And He's Gonna Prove It.

...

The truth is, I'm not sure what the scarier concept is.

Nick Cage Complete Pachinko Commercial Collection

HOLY SHIT THANK YOU JOSH BAUCHNER.