Best of 2009 and The Decade [Part 7]

Best Action Movies of the Decade

This category does not include fantasy/superheroes.

3. Team America

This movie gave us this:

We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!

2. The Bourne Ultimatum

It's basically three amazing chase sequences threaded together by a story about an overreaching CIA. The first chase involves Jason Bourne instructing a reporter on when to blink and breathe. The second involves Bourne chasing the guy who is chasing Bourne's friend. The third involves driving the shit out of Volkswagon (I think).

An action movie excels when it outlines the architecture of the environment. Consider Die Hard. You know that building - you know what floor McClane's on, where he has to go, how to get to the roof. You know all the consequences of the environment - falling off the building, falling down an elevator shaft, the impact of mothafuckin' GLASS.

The Bourne movie does that too. You feel like you are right beside that reporter in that London train station. The narrow thruways of that Morocco city become an obstacle - better run on the rooftops! When he dives off that building into the East River, you know he's jumping to his death (for all intents and purposes, he does).

The camerawork is exhilirating and the energy is pummeling. Well done.

1. Casino Royale

Eva Green.

You need more? How about being the best Bond movie in 44 years? And it's about a poker game.

Again with the architecture - they scale a construction site (the stakes rise with their altitude) and then slide their way down, like a game of Chutes and Ladders. Bond is pretty damn ruthless too - he blows up an embassy, killing a ton of innocent people, in the first few minutes.

Oh and Eva Green.