R Kelly Pissin' on the World (Cup)

When I say "pissin'" of course I mean it in the "doing what R Kelly does best" kind of way, which is pumping out hilariously sincere hits. I don't know who is supposed to love this song, other than himself and underemployed liberals art post-college kids, lookin' to have some street cred [see: this blog]. But I can't help but smile the entire way through it.

But I actually wanted to quote where I found it from, The AV Club's Sean O'Neal, who is an amazingly funny news writer there. I definitely recommend filtering your Deadline Hollywood intake by reading his summaries.

From this R Kelly video:


"Not to be outdone by longtime rival Mark E. Smith, R. Kelly has released his own World Cup anthem, “Sign Of A Victory.” Sorry, but he’s in total “I Believe I Can Fly” mode on this one, so you won’t hear any clever soccer-related metaphors for lovemaking—nothing about bringing out his striker, or putting it through your goalposts, or playing when there’s grass on the field, or any of that stuff. Instead it’s just pure spiritual bombast in which Kells travels the world, from the roof of a skyscraper to South African villages while everyone (even women in burqas!) tries to take his picture, and lays out the various “signs of a victory”—the sun on his face, heaven in its place, his wings ridin’ the wind, etc.—while even slipping in a shout-out to global warming. Because we’re all about positive thinking today, we’re not going to question him on any of that as a "sign of a victory," not even his logically incorrect assertion that we can achieve anything, “even the impossible.” You know what? Maybe we can. Maybe all it takes is just looking at the rainbow."