U.S. President Mortal Kombat Fatalities

The other day, Alex, Jim and I were discussing how the greatest game of all time would be a version of Mortal Kombat where you can play as U.S. Presidents

Here are a few of the Fatalities I think they would have.

NOTE: If you have suggestions/improvements, please leave comments!

George Washington

Mr. Washington chops your legs off with an ax, Betsy Ross runs in and uses your blood as dye for the American flag.

Thomas Jefferson

Mr. Jefferson pulls out a piece of paper, scratches his chin, quickly writes the Declaration of Independence, and throws the pen through your head.

Andrew Jackson

Mr. Jackson points westward and forces you to keep walking. You pass out from exhaustion.

William Henry Harrison

Mr. Harrison starts shivering, pulls out a syringe and draws his own blood. Then, he injects you, and you shiver and die.

Abraham Lincoln

Mr. Lincoln declares "a person divided cannot stand" then cuts you in half.

Grover Cleveland

Mr. Cleveland kicks your head off, then 2nd-term Grover Cleveland comes in and smashes it.

Theodore Roosevelt

Mr. Roosevelt walks toward you very quietly, then pulls out a big stick, which he then beats you with.

William Howard Taft

Mr. Taft jumps on you. You splatter from his outrageous weight.

Woodrow Wilson

Mr. Wilson whistles and the League of Nations arrives. You are destroyed by an orgy of international warfare.

Herbert Hoover

Mr. Hoover takes a seat, while a man delivers you a note. You walk to the top of a building and jump.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Mr. Roosevelt pulls the wheels off his wheelchair and throws them at you, first wheel chopping your legs off followed by the second chopping your head off.

Harry Truman

Mr. Truman pulls out a red button, presses it, and a hydrogen bomb drops on you.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

Mr. Eisenhower signs a bill, a steamroller drives over you, a highway sign is erected with your name on it.

John F. Kennedy

Mr. Kennedy bends down to pick up his handkerchief, a bullet misses him and hits you in the head.

Lyndon B. Johnson

Mr. Johnson makes a call, you get hit with napalm.

Richard Nixon

Mr. Nixon whistles, his dog Checkers comes running, jumps on you, and eats your eyeballs. Nixon waves peace signs and declares "I'm not a killer."

Gerald Ford

Mr. Ford pardons you, bringing you back to life, then trips on you and pushes you into a spike.

Jimmy Carter

Mr. Carter explains that violence is a terrible thing, you die from boredom.

Ronald Reagan

Mr. Reagan attaches more and more missiles to his body until he looks like Robocop, you collapse and die.

Bill Clinton

Mr. Clinton pushes you down onto your knees and stabs you through your head with his penis.

George W. Bush

Mr. Bush stands there, frozen, when Dick Cheney sneaks up from behind and shoots you in the face.

Barack Obama

Mr. Obama opens his mouth, sings an angelic note, and the ghosts of Lenin, Marx, and Stalin rip your body apart.