Wooo! Let's go Chicago!! Can I crash with you guys if we get the Olympics? Okay let's see, in 2016, I'll be 31... but you might as well call me THIRSTY ONE 'cause we're GONNA GET DRUNK those two weeks!!!! Go 'CATS!!!
If you've got a baby by then, he or she can at bottle-stand beside you while you do a keg stand! You know how many times I wish I had a sippy cup when I was getting DRUNK? Actually, you better ask all the LADIES I spilled on, KNOWWHATIMEAN!?! N-U!!!
Then, when we're all PREGAMED OUT we'll go jangle our keys at Michael Phelps when he races up at SPAC. Hey Michael, are you still ripping bongs? Because I know some dudes up at DELTA CHI who have an aquabong that even Aquaman AKA you couldn't even take! FIRST DOWN NORTHWESTERN!!!
Awwww sheeeeeet looks like MY BOY Usain Bolt will be runnin' the 400m up at Ryan Welsh field. Aww crap all the way up north? Fuck that noise! Okay okay we'll PREGAME a little bit. What's that you say? Usain isn't running for America!?!?!? HIS NAME HAS "USA" IN IT? Yo what's your O'problem Obama? You should have invaded Jamaica so we could have Usain Bolt run for us. You must hate America. Hopefully by the next Olympics there won't just be a USA IN BOLT, there'll be a USA IN JAMAICA, catchmydrifthomie??
OKAY OKAY MY FAVORITE PART THOUGH SERIOUSLY GUYS WE GOTTA GET TO THIS
LeBron JAMES representin' USA at WELSH RYAN ARENA baby C'MON you gotta love BRONBRON. Wa-wait a second... he got a better contract with the KNICKS so he's not playing for the Olympic team? THAT ISN'T EVEN A CONFLICT OF INTEREST!!! Well, my KNICKIES KNow just how to screw me over YEAH BOYEE!!! fuck hometown pride leBRONNYBROOK YOGURT JAMES you go where da money at!
SEE ALL MY WILDCATS SOON!
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